Coastal Path (3) – birds

By Rhiannonw

Tue, 26 May 2015
  • 5384 reads
20 comments
 

Martins swoop, and loop the loop –
out from the cliff whizz out to scoop
unseen insects,
whirl return:
too fast to click
a fly-past pic.

Gulls upon a rock,
2 oyster-catchers standing still
(good binocular view), red beaks;
one chasing gull, then lull.
Suddenly rich piping trills
at volume high
transcend the gull’s harsh cries –
three oyster-catchers
sweep by with open bills:
if we could stay all day,
and fly around,
what drama would we see,
but never fully understand.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Coastal Path
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Lovely snapshot Rhiannon. Sounds like a great day.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, PT, and yes, we had a few lovely days near the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path, various bits of which we explored. The picture here is a little bit of a photo I took, magnified to show one of the oyster-catchers. I was so pleased it showed up! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I really like the graceful swooping rhythm of this poem. I feel the flight of the birds and the breeze and the freedom of flight. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you so much, that's really good to know, so thanks for telling me! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Gorgeous, Rhiannon. No one does nature like you. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks so much, Bee. Glad you enjoyed it. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Great verb use - makes the darting, fleeting birds come sharply into (and out of!) focus. Your final two lines are spot on.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Again, it's good to know that you felt that, and enjoyed the last two lines' thought! Thanks, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

sparkling again, really enjoy reading your work, loved the use of oop and ick sounds at the start, immediately vibrant and full of life, continued later with lull, trill, bill. i too wonder about structure, but I have read your reply here. i have been having a dabble in poetry but I always wonder about structure - when try to apply it, tends to read like a nursery rhyme :-/ lovely work again and lovely final thoughts :-)

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you so much again, Stephen for that thoughtful appreciation, and I am so glad you enjoy these verses. It is difficult to analyse one's own writing. I certainly try to keep a rhythm and make quite a bit of use of rhyme and consonant and part word repetition to keep the music and the pattern striking for the reader, but try not to put too much emphasis on a rhyme to make it seem forced or inappropriate or 'in your face'. Thinking about these things seems to help to clarify what content I really would like to encapsulate and communicate as well as how to hold the reader. Don't know if that explains anything, but thanks again for getting me thinking! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

no that's great, thanks for that, v interesting to hear a bit about your process and good to think about for myself, cheers :-) :-)

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

This is a lovely poem - making the birds even more attractive through your writing.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. I think because I am not an expert, I really enjoy what I do notice, and from the path, and with binoculars helping a bit (I'm not good with them actually, but sitting birds make it easier) looking down at sitting/standing/even flying birds is so much easier than just the fleeting glimpses as they flit from bush to bush, or far away usually. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hi there, Rhiannon, we took that same coastal path, about eighteen years ago now, on holiday as we were, staying at Valley, in Cardigan Bay (not realising at the time that the cottage we'd booked for the week was literally at the end of  RAF Valley''s runway) smiley  The holiday company did compensate us, but despite all, we had a wonderful week into the bargain, even though we were woken at dawn  by Tornados, and the like.  Whilst we were there we also visited an RSPB sanctuary which was situated right at the top of the cliffs, somewhere along the coastal path, but I can't remember its exact location.  Do you have any idea where that might have been, I wonder? It had an observation room with a TV monitor that enabled us to actually observe the Guillemots, etc, in their roosts.

Your poem rekindled some wonderful memories for me.  It was the end of April when we were there but the temperatures were in the seventies and eighties, would you believe.  We had barbecues every evening.  Thank you so much for sharing your recent experiences in such a delightful way. Very much enjoyed going back there with yousmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

HI, Tina, how interesting and lovely memories. I'm wondering if you were actually in Anglesey, the coastal path there would be probably very similar to Pembrokeshire where we were, and both have a lot of guillemots viewings I gather. Valley RAF is (think it still is!) in Anglesey and I think there is an RSPB centre at South Stack Cliffs near Holyhead. We saw guillemots on a another walk which I'm hoping to post a little about before long. regards and thanks for sharing your memories. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

You're a star, Rhiannon...and yes, I was getting everywhere muddled up.  We've been to Wales so much over the years, Pembrokeshire, where we definitely did walk the coastal path, and Anglesey, as I say.  And you're right too about Holyhead and South Stack Cliffs, which was definitely where we went.

When we were in Pembrokeshire and walked the path we ended up in the enormous city of St. David's (the smallest city in the British Isles I believe.  Wales is so such a glorious country, and I'm sorry I got the places in a muddle, which you unmuddled, beautifully.

Have a peaceful day, Rhiannon, and thank you for putting me straight.

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Lovely sense of movement, I felt the energy.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, yes, lovely to see the swoop and flight of birds, especially when looking down on them. regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

You capture the sight and sound of these birds perfectly Rhiannon. A real drama of a poem.

By the way, I was reading Tina's comment and found that I do miss her writing so much, wonder where or what she's doing now! 

Best wishes.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jenny. Yes, it is sad that no-one seems to have let the site know. Maybe she had a stroke or something that meant she couldn't write more. I asked a few times at the time. If you ever hear anything, let me know. Rhiannon