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Love in a time of apocalypse

Posted by rjnewlyn on December 30, 2009 - 00:39
from the ABC set 200 words

I will always remember our last moments: memories literally burned into what’s left of my mind. We were sitting on the grass near the mountain’s summit, eating sandwiches and resting our feet, the green valley laid out before us, the sea a distant glimmer, buzzards mewing to each other as they circled up the thermals.

I think we had argued earlier that day but the climb and the view pushed it all aside and we were laughing when the world ended. The blinding white light in the distance could not have meant anything else, although I don’t remember any sound – the fire was travelling faster. I’m sure I could still hear the buzzards.

There was no escape – I’m glad we both realised that. As the shock wave ripped and burned its way up the valley, at least we had enough time to cling to each other and say our goodbyes.

Now I am just a breath on the wind, but still sure that you are close beside me somewhere, your ashes drifting with mine. Perhaps I should be grieving for our lost future but all I really feel is immense and overwhelming gratitude that, at last, I am with you.

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | December 30, 2009 - 11:39

Just wonderful. Reminded me of Bread's song, 'If'.

Tina

Terrence Oblong | December 30, 2009 - 13:13

This is excellent. It's a real skill to capture so much in 200 words.

rjnewlyn | January 1, 2010 - 01:28

Thanks very much Tina. I don't know that one - will search it out.

Rob

rjnewlyn | January 1, 2010 - 01:30

Terrence - thanks very much for the encouragement!

Rob

SugarHorse | January 2, 2010 - 23:14

I adore this story! so tragic and yet the last paragraph is so beautiful, particularly "Now I am just a breath on the wind, but still sure that you are close beside me somewhere". So sweet! keep it up :) x

rjnewlyn | January 3, 2010 - 00:16

Thanks very much SugarHorse for the encouragement. Yes, it was a very sad one to write ...

Beeme | January 6, 2010 - 09:05

A fabulous story which contains lots of emotion and beautiful imagery,"Now I am just a breath on the wind". Great work. Beeme x

rjnewlyn | January 6, 2010 - 20:39

Thanks Beeme - that's very kind. It rather took it out of me, this one.

Beeme | January 6, 2010 - 21:02

It's worth it though, every line in this is perfect.

RachelPatricia | March 31, 2010 - 23:19

I agree with everyone's comments on this one, this is brilliant and beautiful - I've read it twice now and can honestly say I love it :)

Rachel xx

rjnewlyn | April 1, 2010 - 22:41

Thanks very much Rachel - I'm so glad it means something.

RachelPatricia | April 2, 2010 - 12:23

You're very welcome, and you can be sure that it meant something to everyone who has read it, just lovely :)

Love your idea of the 200 Words collection, too. I, on the other hand, would never be able to stick to it so I'm completely in awe of how well you achieve this!

Rachel xx