Reality Montage

1972 Jaguar XJ12 sedan parked in basement garage approach at 20:45. Prior to 1972 Jaguar XJ12 entry observe dry cement debris on exterior sedan roof. UFFVD: ‘What the fuck..? What the fuck..?’ signifying disbelief. Position Stuart on basement surface then inspect ceiling area parallel to exterior sedan roof. Observe jagged circular aperture containing protruding PVC pipe. UFFVD: ‘Fucking plumbers. Don’t they look what they’re doing? It’s a classic fucking car. What the fuck is wrong with them?’ Press lips tight signifying irritation and anger. Brain Presentation Inscription: advise Duct Technicians probable expense recovery procedure if not exercise caution or amend hours of operation.

Commence preventative exterior sedan roof scratch procedure: Remove exterior sedan roof dry cement debris; steady compressed air stream through lips to expunge remaining dry cement powder debris; extract navy Armani jacket inside breast pocket handkerchief, dab exterior sedan roof until sheen. UFFMD: ‘If they’re not careful they’re gonna destroy the whole fucking Corner House and my investment with it. Fucking blue collars; they’ve got no historic sense.’

Lift Stuart from basement surface and enter 1972 Jaguar XJ12 sedan. Prior to sedan ignition procedure extract music box ‘iPod’ from Stuart and connect radio frequency transmitter ‘iTrip’ to iPod. Select iPod playlist ‘Domestic Commercials’ and commence sedan ignition procedure. Domestic Commercials playlist Track 1 equals Verimark Steam Clean. Press basement garage steel roller door open button on remote apparatus. Concurrent with basement garage exit into Commissioner Street, perform Scripted Verbal Duplication (SVD) of Verimark Steam Clean Domestic Commercial: ‘Simply pour in some water and you’re ready to go...’

Proceed west on Commissioner Street/R24 across Simmonds Street; first possible right turn onto Fraser Street; first right at T-junction onto Market Street; straight route for next 6.8km. No active Navigation Brain Presentation required for next 6.8km, therefore allow brain Semi-dependent Brain Presentation Sequence freedom if desired.

Semi-dependent Brain Presentation Sequence probability enhanced by successive street lamp light entry through window, effect hypnotic brain state. Concurrent with successive street lamp light entry through window commence vintage Surf Commercial from playlist Domestic Commercials: ‘Superblue surf puts brightness on the line’, effect Brain Presentation of Possible Machine Brain valves whistling pulleys turning setting gears in motion for Historic Brain Presentation...

41 Pearce Crescent, suburb Gonubie, East London, circa 1987, 18:30 (approx.). Collective war presentation in rudimentary miniature town constructed by Failed Architect Father from natural surrounding material with Older Brother in back yard. Older Brother red Dinky Toy Rolls Royce representing miniature East London King motorcade through own plastic army men cheering crowd for East London King war victory over Port Elizabeth King. From Older Brother mouth escaping sounds ‘Brrrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrr’ spit escaping through lips, from own mouth escape whistling sounds. Own skin equals cold sea wind effected plucked chicken skin. Desire to enter residence for hot bath, but Older Brother equals East London King equals victory tableau director. Pretend enthusiastic plastic army men cheering crowd.

Older Brother forehead crease, UFFVD: ‘Why are my men not following their king’s car?’ Own squinting eyes at Older Brother. Sudden Surprise Realisation of hot bath Brain Presentation overriding victory tableau, attempt surprise simulation at Older Brother accusation. UFFVD: ‘Can’t we play again tomorrow? It’s cold! I wanna go inside! I wanna take a bath!’ Push ‘crocodile’ tear through tear duct, attempt extract sympathy from Older Brother. Older Brother UFFVD: ‘Soldiers don’t cry! Soldiers do what the king tells them to do! And the king says follow my car!’

Plastic soldiers obey East London King, shuffle behind Dinky Toy Rolls Royce concurrent with ‘crocodile’ tear proceeding down cheek. Cold wind effect diluted nasal mucus, effect mucus exit nostrils. Attempt quick left hand nose wipe concurrent with inhale to prevent nostrils mucus exit. Concurrent with quick wipe attempt and inhale loud noise equal to thunder or large firecracker cause Older Brother and own alarm.

UFFVD: ‘What was that?’, attempt extract correct information from Older Brother with wide open eyes and enlarged pupils. Older Brother UFFVD: ‘It’s the king of Port Elizabeth! Soldiers, prepare for battle!’ Own alarm too great for quick plastic soldier offensive maneuver, effect Older Brother irritation. UFFVD: ‘Why are my soldiers not preparing for battle? Are they scared of a little gunfire?’ Loud scream from residence prevent own possible reply effect Older Brother wide open eyes and enlarged pupils. Concurrent observe each other attempt extract correct information from each other attempt confirm not Mother screaming.

Older Brother discard Dinky Toy Rolls Royce onto Town Hall, launch Plastic Machine towards residence. Raise Own Plastic Machine and follow Older Brother. Diluted nasal mucus and tears proceeding down cheeks. Apprehension and Primary Objective to stay in Older Brother proximity effect neglect remove mucus and tears from face and plastic soldier from hand. Observe Older Brother 10m (approx.) in front of Own Plastic Machine, observe Older Brother residence entry.

Decelerate at residence front entrance effected by Sudden Surprise Realisation: possible Failed Architect Father double-barrel gunshot fire. Concurrent inhale deep to draw in excess diluted mucus and left hand wipe to remove face tears and diluted mucus. Observe residence odour equals struck match observe residence noise equals crying Mother. Inspect family room for Older Brother presence. Draw in breath to detect Older Brother sounds. Identify Older Brother FFVD: 'Dad! Dad! Let go of me! Dad!' equal to crying Mother location. Commence Own Plastic Machine movement in direction of Failed Architect Father study.

Verify Own Plastic Machine pace slow and sound minimal at Failed Architect Father study entrance approach. Position Own Plastic Machine against Failed Architect Father study wall, peer around corner to observe study tableau unnoticed. Study tableau composition: Failed Architect Father seated on leather chair in front of mahogany desk, remainder of head stuck against back rest. Mother Plastic Machine not visible, but  verify crying sound behind desk next to leather chair equals Mother. Older Brother arms around Failed Architect Father neck face pressed against blood-stained white work shirt. High velocity blood spatter and brain tissue against white ceiling parallel to Failed Architect Father head. Confirm probable Failed Architect Father desk conceal Failed Architect Father double-barrel shotgun.

Observe Own Plastic Machine heart beat accelerated prohibit proper breathing and speech. Observe eyes burning tears exiting tear duct diluted mucus exit from nostrils again. Confirm tears not equal 'crocodile' tears. Observe plastic soldier presence in right hand. Allow right hand lift with plastic soldier pinched between thumb and forefinger. Point plastic soldier at Failed Architect Father and Older Brother. From own mouth escaping sounds 'Pew pew pew' concurrent with gun recoil presentation with hand.

Brain accelerate Historic Brain Presentation equals scurrying characters from silent historic monochrome motion picture: enter Failed Architect Father study neighbours Edna Brian Edna cover mouth both hands Brian advance Mother grab Mother shoulders quick stroke Mother hair glance Edna point ceiling simulate scrub point Failed Architect Father point Older Brother jerk head backwards Edna rip Older Brother from Failed Architect Father exit study Edna Older Brother past Own Plastic Machine kiss Mother top head raise Mother exit study Brian Mother enter study Brian lift telephone receiver from desk Brian mouth rapid open close open close open close replace receiver exit Brian study grab Own Plastic Machine usher into family room exit Edna family room enter Edna family room carrying tray with cups containing tea red red red red red red lights flash through family room window answer door Brian enter police officers paramedics pushing hospital trolley Brian point direction study mouths open close open close open close open close police paramedics follow Brian exit family room enter family room Brian police paramedics pushing trolley covered body Failed Architect Father exit residence enter residence paramedics check eyes Mother Older Brother Own Plastic Machine move finger left right left right left right in front of faces mouths open close open close open close nod heads Mother Older Brother Own Plastic Machine exit residence paramedics police red red red red red flashing fading collect cups tray exit family room Edna enter family room Edna hug Mother Older Brother Own Plastic Machine wave front door exit residence Edna Brian sleeping Mother on couch Older Brother exit family room sunlight burn eyes Own Plastic Machine rise Mother answer door enter police with black sports bag sit down exit Mother enter Mother carrying tray with cups containing tea mouths open close open close open close open close present Mother black sports bag exit police residence exit Mother family room with black sports bag brain decelerate Historic Brain Presentation: Sitting on grass in back yard push plastic soldiers through grass simulate crawling, exit sound ‘pew pew pew’ from Own Plastic Machine mouth. Observe Mother exit residence back door with washing container approach washing line. Cease plastic soldiers advance through grass observe Mother suspend white dripping garments from washing line. Confirm Failed Architect Father white work shirt present. Observe sun rays passing through white garments at low angle directly onto Own Plastic Machine. Observe dark patterns on Failed Architect Father white work shirt equal unsuccessful 'Superblue Surf puts brightness on the line' equal unsuccessful Mother effort erase Failed Architect Father gaping head image.

Loud motor vehicle horn interrupt Semi-dependent Brain Presentation Sequence effect brain alert at surroundings. Confirm own motor vehicle position across two lanes perform corrective maneuver to prevent possible collision. Calculate probable geographic location from surrounding Points of Interest: Superspar... Mochachos... Confirm current suburban area equals Troyeville equals Real Ghetto not a Scripted Event marked with same crime symbols litter barbed wire graffiti etcetera. Confirm Scripted Events verisimilitude effect unforced smile.

Calculate eight minutes (approx.) from Kensington residence. Allow alert brain moderate relaxation with start of Omo Domestic Commercial 'Just one small cap, is enough' emanating from historic car radio. Experience calming effect of semi-deserted streets and regular entry of street lamp lights through motor vehicle front window onto Own Plastic Machine face. Reduce speed to facilitate closer observation of Real Ghetto Troyville alert moderate relaxed brain for possible Brain Presentation Inscriptions. Moderate relaxed brain effect Independent Brain Presentation Sequence: Troyeville Director equals Own Plastic Machine direct Troyeville Scripted Event promenade from moving 1972 Jaguar XJ12 sedan...

Following Engen filling station notice terra-cotta wall of semi-detached residences with bullet punctuation signifying possible gang ‘shoot-out’ or execution-style killing. Confirm terra-cotta wall colour rationale for absence of possible visible recurring blood stain equal to Failed Architect Father study ceiling and white work shirt. Wall canvas effect whistling valves turning gears of Possible Machine Brain render brain curious at possible Unscripted Event conditions. 

Apply brakes forcefully to halt motor vehicle movement abruptly. Observe traffic conditions through rear motor vehicle window prior adjusting gear lever to reverse position. Drive motor vehicle backward until parallel to terra-cotta wall with bullet hole punctuation. Prior to motor vehicle exit halt Domestic Commercials playlist, replace iPod in Stuart, switch off motor vehicle engine, apply hand brake, adjust Bruant-style red scarf and Bruant-style black broad-rimmed hat for exterior winter night conditions.

Open motor vehicle door and place right foot leather boot on tarmac before rest of Own Plastic Machine exit motor vehicle. Concurrent with black leather boot placement on tarmac, Brain Presentation equals close-up shot of single black leather boot exit from motor vehicle and placed on tarmac equal to dramatic moment in generic spy thriller prior to hero nemesis identity revelation. Enhance dramatic moment with stylised smile on face and brief pause then motor vehicle exit rest of Own Plastic Machine.

Terra-cotta wall approach with professional attention. Notice terra-cotta wall enclose both sections of semi-detached residence. Notice wooden door entrance in wall to both residences. Notice ‘93A’ and ‘93B’ hand-drawn quality white spray paint on terra-cotta wall indicating semi-detached residences separate sections plot numbers. Attention to detail for authentic Real Ghetto spray paint appearance effect unforced smile. Notice apparent sequential numbering disregard: ‘93A’ on right-hand side of wooden door entrance and ‘93B’ on left-hand side. Notice right side ‘93A’ favoured asymmetrical wooden entrance placement in terra-cotta wall. Notice further Real Ghetto symbolism: barbed wire and metal spikes along length of terra-cotta wall; loose and oxidised red corrugated iron roof panels appearance; indiscriminate residence outer wall paint application; unpainted haphazardly welded home-made steel burglar bars covering complete outer windows; worn faded flower-patterned linen curtains. Brain Presentation Inscription of faded linen curtains and quality of welding for later application to Scripted Events.

Extract iPhone 4G from Armani jacket inner breast pocket. Use Flashlight LED application for bullet cavity illumination. Confirm bullet cavity size and form not equal to hollow point, probably equal to full metal jacket. Closer examination reveal bullet cavity tapering quality. Test taper hypothesis with right hand pinkie. Confirmed. Further hypothesis: possible Russian manufactured SPS Serdeukov self-loading automatic pistol fired 7N31 round. 7N31 equals modified 9×19mm Parabellum round; muzzle velocity 600m/s; 8mm steel plate penetration up to 10m; also used in PP-90M1 and PP-2000 submachine guns; service pressure unclear; main development purpose: armour piercing. Ample energy. 756J. Russian mafia South African influx post-2003 render 7N31 popular with Street Bandits. Soviet Union disintegration transform KGB agents into gun smugglers effect cheap black market military artillery profusion. Cheap powerful public assault weapon for Street Bandits.

Prior to iPhone insert into Armani jacket inner breast pocket deactivate iPhone Flashlight application. Rotate Own Plastic Machine 180˚, insert hands into pockets and position back against wall. Concurrent with R24/Kitchener Avenue blank observation contemplate possible 7N31 cavity Intimidation Value. Concur full metal jacket cavity Intimidation Value less effective than jacketed hollow point (JHP) cavity Intimidation Value. Full metal jacket equals no expansion and maximum penetration; JHP equals controlled penetration and expansion within target. JHP expend total kinetic energy within target therefore maximum damage equals substantial cavity equals greater Intimidation Value. Confirm JHP correct option for Scripted Events. Street Bandit possible 7N31 option incorrect equal not proper direction.

Allow Own Plastic Machine gradual downward movement against punctured terra-cotta wall. Subsequent to downward movement conclusion experience possible 7N31 cavity pressure against back head. Confirm Street Bandit execution hypothesis still valid. Possible Machine Brain gears commence activity effect IBPS: Forensic analysis DFS Class IIIA red laser equals CSI: Las Vegas crime reconstruction scene pierce skull continues through brain and head exit through right eye retina. Observe DFS Class IIIA red laser 15˚ (approx.) eye exit red path equals probable bullet trajectory. DFS Class IIIA red laser continues trajectory 0.8m (approx.) conclude trajectory in 90˚ (approx.) horizontal turned Russian manufactured SPS Serdeukov self-loading automatic pistol barrel equals probable bullet origin. 90˚ (approx.) horizontal turned Russian manufactured SPS Serdeukov self-loading automatic pistol hypothesis rationale equals CSI: Miami Las Vegas New York Law & Order Street Bandit shooting style equals Andy Warhol quote ‘life imitates art.’ Law & Order Lenny imitation SSFFVD: ‘It's a 19 mil Parabellum slug chief, no two-ways about it. Execution would be my guess. The perp was standing about two and half feet away. Not a very good shot. Only a rookie'll miss from two and a half feet away with a Parabellum. I'd say about 5' 6", 5' 7". Possibly an initiation. Hell's Angels or whatever.’

Foot kick equals IBPS interference. Observe DFS Class IIIA red laser exit 90˚ (approx.) horizontal turned .38 Special revolver barrel. Probable red path bullet trajectory enter forehead middle negative exit back skull. Probable hollow point .38 caliber equals limited penetration maximum target damage equals correct Street Bandit choice.

Street Bandit No.1 SSFFVD: ‘Did you not hear me you fuckin’ freak? (UFF aside to Street Bandit No.2) What’s wrong with this dude? Is he fuckin’ deaf or something?’

Street Bandit No.2 approach seated Own Plastic Machine forceful remove Bruant-style broad-rimmed black hat and place on own head. 

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: ‘We got your attention now old man? Are you gonna give us your shit or do we blow your fuckin’ brains out?’

Notice Street Bandits verbal discourse style error equals ‘local colour’ absence equals motion picture style verbal discourse. Attempt amend Street Bandits verbal discourse style error. 

UFFVD: ‘’Blow my fuckin’ brains out?’ 'Give us your shit?' What the fuck is wrong with you Street Bandit No.2? Is that how a South African thug would speak? Stick to the script! Improvisation doesn’t mean change the fuckin’ style!’

Confused Brain Presentation Inscription issue Street Bandit No.1 and 2 formal written warnings citing insubordination and misconduct. Further Brain Presentation Inscription conduct special improvisation techniques training session. Raise Own Plastic Machine to commence Kensington residence home journey. Right hand reach toward Street Bandit No.2 to obtain Bruant-style broad-rimmed black hat. 

UFFVD: 'My hat?' 

Street Bandit No.2 Own Plastic Machine observation equals 'incredulous'. Concurrent Street Bandit No.1 and 2 observe each other. Street Bandit No.2 seize reaching hand twist arm behind back equals motion picture police apprehend criminal style, force Own Plastic Machine against terra-cotta wall. 

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'You think this is a game old man? You think you're fucking funny?' Street Bandit No.2 unoccupied left hand seize Bruant-style red scarf twist tight around Own Plastic Machine neck restrict oxygen intake carbon dioxide discharge. 

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'You feel that old man? You know how easy it is to force the fuckin' life out of you with your own scarf? You fuckin' piece of shit!' Oxygen intake restriction effect throat irritation effect dry cough effect Street Bandits Pleasure Gain. 

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'Ha ha ha ha! You feel your life draining away you fuck?' Street Bandit No.2 press Plastic Machine against Own Plastic Machine effect terra-cotta wall damage face equal to sandpaper. 

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'Hey! Jarred...' 

Street Bandit No.1 interrupt Street Bandit No.2. UFFVD: 'You fuckin' stupid? Not my name asshole!'

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'Fuck. Sorry.' Street Bandit No.2 error effect Bruant-style scarf slackening effect oxygen intake surge.

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'I'll just call you Street Bandit like the old man called me.'

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD effect Street Bandit No.1 and 2 further Pleasure Gain. Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'Street Bandit, please come take the old man's shit so we can get the fuck outta here.'

Observe Street Bandit No.1 footstep sound on cement pavement equals probable thick sole heavy shoe equals favourable Intimidation Value. Brain Presentation Inscription of audible footstep sound Intimidation Value. Sudden Surprise Realisation of probable Street Bandit No.1 pockets examination for well-deserved proceeds. Probable Street Bandit No.1 extract wallet iPhone palladium 23K nib Visconti Homo Sapiens pen car keys.

Street Bandit No.1 UFFVD: ‘Score! iPhone! Thanks old man!’

Probable Street Bandit No.1 silence equals probable wallet examination.

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: ‘You done? You got the stash?’

Street Bandit No.1 UFFVD: ‘Yeah. Fuck he’s loaded. There’s about three gran’ in here!’

Probable Street Bandit No.1 strike Own Plastic Machine buttocks through pants. Street Bandit No.1 UFFVD: ‘If there was more time we could had some fun.’ Probable Street Bandit No.1 repeat strike Own Plastic Machine buttocks through pants. ‘But we gotta go. We been here too long as it is.’

Street Bandit No.1 UFFVD: 'What about his car? I got the keys too.'

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD: 'You fuckin' stupid? I told you cars are too risky; they attract attention we don't want. Toss it.'

Street Bandit No.1 sedan keys discard on promenade effect metallic sound next to Own Plastic Machine. Street Bandit No.2 release Bruant-style red scarf retreat from Own Plastic Machine. Street Bandit No.2 forceful replace Bruant-style broad-rimmed black hat on Own Plastic Machine head.

Street Bandit No.2 UFFVD concurrent with hand on Own Plastic Machine head: ‘There’s your hat you fuckin’ freak. Now run home to mommy and tell her all about it. Fuckin’ snob. If we catch you here again my Street Bandit friend is gonna rip your fuckin’ ass open. You got me?’

Rhetorical question realisation. Subsequent to pressure release from head observe Street Bandit No.1 slow footstep retreat equals superiority display. Confirm Own Plastic Machine movement delay. Own Plastic Machine movement delay effect preceding events Brain Presentation opportunity. Confirm unchecked IBPS effect Reality Collage effect own UFFVD foolish arrogance display effect foolish zero fear factor presentation equals CHSE jeopardy equals IPM 2.0 project jeopardy. Confirm IPM 2.0 project importance. Brain Presentation Inscription devise IBPS control method.

Straighten Own Plastic Machine. Confirm Street Bandits absence. Remove terra-cotta wall cement dust from Armani jacket and trousers. Retrieve sedan keys from promenade. Slow 1972 Jaguar XJ12 sedan approach. Prior to sedan entry repeat confirm Street Bandits absence. Open sedan door and enter sedan. Prior to ignition procedure extract iPod from Stuart and connect radio frequency transmitter iTrip to iPod. Confirm Kensington residence ETA equals eight minutes (approx.) equals 14 Domestic Commercials (approx.). Select Surf Domestic Commercial from ‘Domestic Commercials’ play list, select ‘repeat item’ and commence sedan ignition procedure. Silent lip sync Surf Domestic Commercial concurrent with Kensington residence route remainder.