Ode To My Grandfather


from the ABC set Scratch's Poetry

Ode To My Grandfather

Iron shod clogs tic out sparking time from
cobbles squeezed together like condemned
granite loaves; a pre-dawn dirge to artless
drudgery

rising to serenade her as she silently weeps,
her nipple trapped between boneless gums,
for his labour of love spawned by Poverty,
born of Ignorance, nurtured from Necessity.

His shoulders support the roof where they
lie; flesh-strata, three generations thick in
shifts of sleep fifteen to four rooms, the
children in the pantry.

Two sack corners she has sewn into his
coat, heavy with smuggled cannel to be
watched in silence until it is burned to ashes
and cinders and dust

its heat-heart leaping in anger from the fire
back to consume the pit-bowel of his soul.
And she will cower from his ember eyes as
she tenderly washes his black, seamed face.

Then she scrubs, easing the drilled tunnels
of his blood and the bone props of a back
scourged by greased hawsers so that they
might eat potatoes mined by boys.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

skinner_jennifer | December 4, 2011 - 15:31

Wow! this is brilliant scratch, almost took my
breath away with all the descriptions.

Wonderful piece of writing.

Thanks for sharing.

Jenny.

scratch | December 4, 2011 - 16:13

Big smile from me Jenny. Thanks.

seashore | December 4, 2011 - 22:07

A very strong piece - really good.

gerardineanne | December 5, 2011 - 10:51

Very vivid,felt I was there.

sue dinum | December 5, 2011 - 19:28

Great stuff, scratch, loved it!

sue

Highhat | December 5, 2011 - 19:31

I almost felt I was there as well. A perfect description of a rather desolate life- a lot of hardships and a tender love between the two. Well done Scratch. I like the description of the cobbles as loaves- a great metaphor.

;)Pia

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 19:35

Thanks I had that metaphor in an out and round about 'till I was dizzy. I was trying to also offer the allegory of the cobbles as miners/workers inevitably arranged into their predestiny - walked all over as well.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 19:36

And it's also a food reference that echoes the end of the piece.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 19:37

Bread and spuds

Christine | December 5, 2011 - 21:36

Wow, a really good real poem with all the ingredients. Well done.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 21:40

Blighters, Ragged... Tressell That's loaded with what affects me. Hoxton? I'm on to it, I'll find it and read it. I've heard of Hoxton and read some of the stuff from that locale. I'll find it and read it. thanks for the tip.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 21:57

Correct.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 21:59

I will get it, and will read it.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 22:04

Tressell a tour de force. An imperfect story but the one that I would take to a desert island. Because I'm a grumpy bastard.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 22:10

A grumpy angry bastard.

Leander42 | December 5, 2011 - 22:11

His shoulders support the roof where they
lie; flesh-strata, three generations thick in
shifts of sleep fifteen to four rooms, the
children in the pantry.

...words painting pictures. There's time and patience gone into this and it's really paid off. Really focused imagery and a well deserved cherry.

scratch | December 5, 2011 - 22:16

Many thanks Leander, I appreciate your time and effort, and I can see that you have thought about the comment. It's easy to just say "good" But you have thought and done more and I am grateful.

lavadis | December 6, 2011 - 06:55

I think this is wonderful work- no two ways about it. Very confident indeed. Well deserving of the cherries.

oldpesky | December 6, 2011 - 08:44

Good morning scratch. As you know I'm not one for reading much poetry, but this one grabbed me enough to return for another read. Wish I could offer a more constructuive critique.

lk | December 6, 2011 - 16:50

Strong and powerful stuff, thank you and well done

scratch | December 6, 2011 - 17:47

IK, Oldpsky, Lavadis, Leander42. Many thanks for taking the time to read this and more so for your encouraging comments. I am once again obliged (and flattered) given the company I am in!

Cavalcaderl | December 6, 2011 - 19:03

new scratch
Really powerful poem.
Well written and so interesting.
Facts. Someone you loved.
Well done on the cherries!
Got read again. Make the time.
Nos ie rumnning cold throat goiong around.
Some had no singing next week few of us then.
cavalcaderl julie x

jolono | December 6, 2011 - 20:02

Scratch, you know I'm a fan of your work. This is really good. The way you put words together in this piece is awesome. By the way Hoxton is close to me so i'll try to read the book as well ( Blighters Rock).

fatboy74 | December 6, 2011 - 20:30

I'm not on here much at the mo scratch but had to stop and show my appreciation for this one - every line crammed with meaning, the poem bristles with descriptive energy - really well done. :-)

scratch | December 6, 2011 - 20:57

Cavalcaderl,

Thank you for stopping by to look and read and especially for your lovely comments. It means so much to me. Thank you very much.

I hope your throat gets better soon and that you are back on song once again.

Big smile on my face.

scratch | December 6, 2011 - 21:02

Jolono and fatboy, Thanks for the effort It is MUCH appreciated. Bye the way if when you post and I am late onto it It's because I am under pressure for time at the moment. But I will get round to it ASAP.

Thanks once again to both of you.

Dynamaso | December 6, 2011 - 23:15

Argh, I want to say this is 'really good' but this platitude just doesn't cut it for me. Suffice to say, there is so much in this piece to like, I don't know where to start.

scratch | December 7, 2011 - 17:32

Dynamaso, 'really good' is more than good enough for me. Thanks for the kind words.

Big smile from me!

scratch | December 8, 2011 - 21:34

Hello.

Say what you think, criticism is how we improve.

Ilovewriting99 | December 8, 2011 - 22:24

Scratch!!! I love this!!!! It's absolutely breathtaking(: I can't critique this it's just too marvelous(:

scratch | December 8, 2011 - 22:27

Big smile from me Ilovewriting.

tcook | December 9, 2011 - 17:49

This is not only our Poem of the Week but also our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.

Join us on Facebook at ABCtales.com

Join us on Twitter @tcookabctales

Get a great reading recommendation most days.

Silver Spun Sand | December 9, 2011 - 18:15

This poem truly deserves its accolades, scratch. Makes me want to put down my pen for ever;-)

Tina

scratch | December 9, 2011 - 18:26

Tina, I truly hope (and know) that you won't do that! A massive thank you for what is a wonderfully supportive and humbling comment given it is from someone of your undisputed talent.

THANK YOU.

scratch | December 9, 2011 - 18:36

tcook,

I almost think that I have been here long enough to call you Tony!

Thanks Tony,

Stan | December 9, 2011 - 21:47

Jeez, mate. I'm in awe of poets. I wish I could do that. A detailed critique is superfluous. It's fabulous. Well done.

Stan | December 9, 2011 - 21:48

Oop, repeat. Sorry.

scratch | December 9, 2011 - 21:49

Big smile from me. But do you know what I didn't have to make it up.

Cavalcaderl | December 10, 2011 - 17:19

new scratch
Hi! Well done POW of the week
and Twitter and facebook of the day.
And congrats; the cherries!
Well central heating 1st time,ever
dries up the rooms etc; Popped post box,
very cold,post gone! Singing carols,and n.home
few next week,show songs go following week end.
Keep writing emjoying your styles.
A big smile to you. (:-
Tension xmas building up,so have to do
my own thing,he hubby hates shopping with me.
Snooker captain ugh! Bowls summer,now re-tired.
Good bit younger than me,and daughter,all not musical
in any way! So why! wait.
cavalcaderl julie x

scratch | December 10, 2011 - 20:27

Thanks Cavalcaderl. Enjoy the forthcoming festivities, I know that I will be trying to do my best.

RachelPatricia | December 12, 2011 - 18:01

Wonderful, scratch. Many congrats on the POW badge - wear it with pride, this is top-notch :)

scratch | December 12, 2011 - 18:12

Thank you penandpaperdreams. And thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read and even more thanks for the comments - special thanks to commenters who I haven't acknowledged.

scratch | December 16, 2011 - 23:11

And if you have just arrived and have the time (or the inclination) please leave a comment or some feedback.

Richard L. Prov... | December 18, 2011 - 00:10

This is very good Scratch. It's like an onion, except the removal of each skin reveals something richer, more like a vein of gold. I find it a challenge to even suggest anything better to add. Richard L. Provencher

scratch | December 18, 2011 - 10:03

Thanks Richard.

celticman | December 18, 2011 - 13:17

I see you've put this in the category of crime-and you're right, crimes against humanity. The brutality is in your work, but drawn with love. Well done.

scratch | December 18, 2011 - 14:03

Glad that you noticed the category Celticman just another way of me expressing the political sentiment at work. Nice comment, thank you.

russiandoll | December 20, 2011 - 19:12

Wonderful indeed; raw, raging and capable of grabbing the reader round the neck and shaking.

Love the granite loaves imagery :)

scratch | December 20, 2011 - 19:54

Thanks russiandoll, much appreciated observation. Thank you.

albamac | December 20, 2011 - 21:03

There's blood on the page, here, scratch! It cuts right to the bone and takes the reader in with the knife.

When I were a lad (sorry about that), I spent a lot of time with relatives in a Lanarkshire mining village. I wasn't shocked by the grime and grind of their lives but that's hardly surprising. I was raised in a Glasgow tenement - no hot water, no bath and no toilet.

As a boy I did lots of jobs outside of school hours; newspaper-boy, butcher's-boy, errand-boy, coal briquette carrier and, wait for it ... tattie howker (a potato miner).

Cobbled streets, gas lighting and the omnipresent horse and cart - how romantic! They, finally, removed the last of the gas-mantles from the tenements in the 'swinging' sixties, when Roger Miller was singing about "Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben and the rosy-red cheeks of the little children"!

My grandfather didn't survive the First World War and my father fought for the duration of the second. Neither of them returned to a 'land fit for heroes'. I was a soldier, as were three of my sons-in-law. With hindsight, it wasn't worth a single bead of sweat. None of us was stupid. So, why didn't we learn from those who went before?

This train of thought was sparked by the power of your poem. Thanks for reminding me, scratch!

scratch | December 20, 2011 - 22:20

I thank you too albamac. You are right on it. The resonance of your review is, well I don't think that I can express myself properly really. Thank you for knowing. And thank you to all who have read this poem or commented as well.

Thank you.

MaliciousMudkip | December 23, 2011 - 10:11

This is moving and beautiful. Thank you.

Edenfalls | January 3, 2012 - 20:16

New to the site and just catching up on my reading! This is a wonderful poem, full of fantastic descriptions of times gone by. It really pulls you in.

scratch | January 3, 2012 - 21:09

Thanks for stopping by edenfalls and even more so for commenting. Big smile from me. I look forward to reading and commenting on your work. Thank you.

Indrani Ananda | January 4, 2012 - 18:30

Indrani Ananda

What pathos, what endurance is portrayed in this brilliant piece of writing! The last verse in particular is heart-rending. You can feel the coal-dust rasping your skin - this poem is so full of graphic sorrow and the toil of poverty. I can't write like this, Scratch - it's so direct it brings the scene into my own living room. I recommend a golden cherry for this one.

scratch | January 4, 2012 - 19:37

Thank you Indrani for such an unconditionally positive comment especially in light of the fact that it's from someone of your talent. Big smile.

jennifer | January 11, 2012 - 19:17

Fabulous stuff, quite marvelous imagery - I particularly loved:

'And she will cower from his ember eyes as
she tenderly washes his black, seamed face.'

I also enjoyed your use of punctuation - for me, it makes it so much better.

J x

scratch | January 11, 2012 - 19:37

Your point is well taken Jennifer, thanks for taking the time to comment and from one of your undisputed tallent especially welcome.

jennifer | January 11, 2012 - 19:59

You flatter me, scratch, how kind!

J x

berenerchamion | January 13, 2012 - 02:55

Great poem. The cannel coal image was particularly striking. Thanks for your comments today, scratch. Actually my best friend in high school went by the nickname of "scratch." I thought you might be him for a moment when I first read your comment. I normally don't comment on other people's work because then it turns into a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" sort of thing, and I find that comments that are unsolicited previously are normally more genuine. Probably the reason I get very few comments myself. You most certainly are talented though, and I'll stop by your page from time to time to see if you've posted anything new. :-)

scratch | January 13, 2012 - 17:10

Thanks for the time and the honesty berenerchamion

ju B | January 22, 2012 - 12:44

wow- those opening lines are superb. & i just love how you string words together; the sound of them, rolling.

scratch | January 22, 2012 - 15:44

Thanks ju B. I appreciate you reading and commenting, a big smile from me!