accidents and incidents

it's like puzzle pieces
that don't quite fit
coming together anyway
ignoring the rules of the game.
who needs another meadow
with multi-colored flowers
but it does wear thin some times

I know she's been left behind before.
I don't know
if she knows that about me
or how many times.
It's the kind of thing
you embarrassedly leave unsaid
hoping it's understood
but knowing it's probably not

and then there's my 2nd son
being born to a woman
who doesn't want me.
my love knows about that, too,
so how can she know
she's the one I truly love
no matter what I say

At twelve I was suspended
for marijuana and a pocket-knife
I'd brought to show off to my friends.
I wasn't capable of hurting a fly,
the kind of awkward kid
in love with every puppy dog,
had the gift of luring
wary animals into my arms
because they could see I was so friendly
and pathetic.
my dad was on the school-board

later, I kept a scholarship
for four grueling literary years
when all I really wanted
was a job at a coffeehouse,
which I never got because
I had an odd way about me
a little autism spectrum
good-looking enough back then
but just not
the sort of person
people want to buy their lattes from