It was the flickering that woke us;
-orange-blue-orange-blue-orange-blue-
and drew us like giant moths to a lantern;
pressed against the glass, our hands,
as if trying to feel the heat, unwilling
witnesses to this impromptu cremation,
The gothic windows had never shone so brightly,
prayers had never risen so directly
or adamantly to their destination,
as the blasphemous flames, carrying the
'OH GOD'S!', and 'CHRIST'S!', straight to heaven
Later, the charred beams and pews,
collapsed like a pile of bones,
smoulder their souls into the drizzle, confusing the pigeons,
wheeling, lost and tired, looking for a familiar roof.
The doors gape like a toothless mouth,
black with cancer, breathing out the odour of death.
Turning away, we take the baby's path back,
no longer suprised by the 1/2 size plots, the Cherubs,
the Angels, the teddy shaped marble.
Comments
alice sunderland | June 15, 2011 - 12:27
nice one shoe. its got loads in i really like! and as a whole too. bravo.
Highhat | June 15, 2011 - 14:45
excellent Shoe-it is very seldom you hear about a church burning. I especially liked the image with the pigeons
;)Pia
insertponceyfre... | June 15, 2011 - 15:12
wonderful imagery - very dramatic!
you left the r off prayers
shoe | June 15, 2011 - 15:52
Thanks alice and Pia, it was, and is, quite a sight,
it's the first time I've seen a building on fire, and, I hope the last.
Thanks poncey, it was!
RachelPatricia | June 15, 2011 - 17:23
This really is brilliant, shoe - was caught up in this straight off the opening lines, they almost hypnotised me I think with the 'orange-blue-orange-blue' ;)
Such a powerful second stanza, too, and I think those final lines are perfect and draw the whole piece to a very poignant end. I feel for you for having had to witness what I can only imagine was a very distressing incident, and think you've done not only an excellent but also respectful job with this - well done on the cherries they're thoroughly deserved, and thanks for yet another great read :)
Rachel xx
Silver Spun Sand | June 15, 2011 - 18:06
Awesome, this, shoe. I read it earlier and didn't have time to comment. Many congrats on the well-deserved cherrry. I too, liked the 'orange-blue'.
Tina
Luly Whisper | June 15, 2011 - 18:32
This is so vivid.
barryj1 | June 15, 2011 - 22:55
This is a very powerful piece that actively engages all five of the reader's senses. I can't imagine what it would feel like to see one's church burnt to the ground. Far better to read about it in someone else's poem and experience the loss once removed.
Dynamaso | June 16, 2011 - 05:53
As previous respondents have said, the imagery is just superb. I could almost see the flames.
seashore | June 16, 2011 - 10:51
Wonderfully original and as Luly Whisper said - vivid.
shoe | June 16, 2011 - 19:02
Thank you all very much, I'll never forget the sight of that lovely old building going up in flames, it was my church only in the sense that I can see it from my house, luckily, no-one was hurt, only a few hundred years of parish records that were stored there.
and I think the pigeons are going to be O.K!
Nathan Bednarek | June 19, 2011 - 17:25
Impossible to choose the best line. The poem is packed with so much brilliant imagery and crafted so eloquently that it literally leaves the reader stunned. It's tone and pace are spot-on, leading the reader, as if by the arm, to witness its splendid ending... but the reader wants more ;-)
What a wonderful poem. Definitely one of the best I read on this website so far. The cherry's just a topping ;-)
Well done.
Nathan.
shoe | June 22, 2011 - 15:54
Thanks Nathan, it's very kind of you to say so, the inspiration kind of forced itself upon me.
MistakenMagic | June 26, 2011 - 18:33
A very intriguing piece, Shirley. I too love the image of the pigeons. Well done on the cherry!
Magic xxx
shoe | July 5, 2011 - 16:42
Thanks Magic, I'll write about whatever comes my way!
BeKsta | July 7, 2011 - 00:03
Yes great imagery!
JoseHdz | July 12, 2011 - 23:01
explosive/ beautiful/ surreal
a pleasure to read~!
cheers,
jose hernandez diaz.
fatboy74 | July 14, 2011 - 15:32
I apologise for missing this, it is one of your best shoe and so one of my favourites to appear on this site. I remember reading it before but as has happened so many times recently (my brain is melting) i'm thinking I'm leaving a comment but not. Wonderful. :-)