Pavements shine
electric blue
forever amber.
Street-lamps
neon signs
spring alive –
prematurely
falteringly
flicker.
Fat-cats
vie for cabs
folded broadsheets
to their heads.
Shop-girls
dodge puddles
rush for doorways
root for scarves
and brollies.
Above my head
a young girl stands
freeze-framed
at an open window
of a down-town dive.
Orange dress
jet-black hair
swept high
into a chignon.
An upward draught
wafts the down
on her neck.
She waves
to a passer-by.
They seem to heckle
He disappears inside.
Like a scene
from a foreign movie.
No sub-titles required.
Comments
MistakenMagic | September 14, 2008 - 09:46
'Pavements shine
electric blue
forever amber.'
I love the use of colours here! The whole poem has a great sense of atmosphere and the last line is a brilliant finish.
Silver Spun Sand | September 14, 2008 - 11:06
Thanks Magic. In fact, 'Forever Amber' and 'Electric Blue' were quite famous movies, wayback. Way before your time I should imagine:-) When I have a moment, later today, I shall 'google' them and find out the dates, etc.
Glad you enjoyed the poem. Have a sunny Sunday.
tamara | September 14, 2008 - 19:44
"Like a scene from a foreign movie,no sub-titles required."That is brilliant,the whole poem is kicking with life!x
Nathan Bednarek | September 14, 2008 - 22:52
Yes, again you have written a poem with a wonderfully crafted atmosphere. When I was reading this, I imagined I was in one of those classic family movies as it has that enchanting feeling to it.
I agree with the above comments. The last line is a spit'n'polish finish to the piece. Well done.
Nathan.
Silver Spun Sand | September 15, 2008 - 07:16
Tamara - thanks for that. Glad my poem had such a dynamic effect on you.
Tina:-)
Silver Spun Sand | September 15, 2008 - 07:18
Nathan - much appreciate your reading and I'm pleased that you got so much from it and thanks for sharing your feelings.
Tina:-)
chuck | September 15, 2008 - 14:20
You paint a vivid picture with a few words and the movie references work well. This is my idea of good poetry.
Silver Spun Sand | September 15, 2008 - 14:53
Ta ever so, chuck. Your words much appreciated.
Tina:-)
Ewan | September 15, 2008 - 17:38
And you end this poem very well. That's what I call poetry too. As opposed to the anthology of a similar name, LOL.
Really good stuff, you are in a rich vein of form at the moment
regards Ewan.
Silver Spun Sand | September 15, 2008 - 20:04
Hats off you to you, Ewan. Thank you for your words of encouragement - which at the end of the day, we all need.
Tina
shoebox | September 17, 2008 - 03:22
Randall BarfieldIt's super because it's fresh and has a great length. Last line is a gem. Cheers
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2008 - 09:06
My thanks to you:-)
Tina