A slippery customer
you’d be advised
not to trust
even half as far
as you could throw.
Wafer thin –
light as a feather
but a nightmare
to pick up, and
I should know, so
handle with care.
On initial analysis
I’d recommend respect;
failure to comply
might end in tragedy –
intentional or otherwise...
At the very least
an unsightly nick.
Renowned
for its spinosity
and yet, given time
tends to lose
that cutting edge
technology.
Bear this in mind
when I shout, ‘Hello!
Can you hear me?
Heed my warning
or proceed at thy peril!'
Some just won’t be told though...
‘Ouch! That hurt me too,
but not half as much
as it’s hurting you.’
Sharp as a razor –
this young dude.
Comments
Mangone | January 9, 2010 - 17:20
Liked this loved the song... Mott The Hoople?
Silver Spun Sand | January 9, 2010 - 17:53
Yep...right on. 1972 and written by David Bowie. I tried singing it to my partner, but they weren't impressed. Which I can understand;
Glad you enjoyed this too and thanks for telling me.
Tina
Anonyme | January 9, 2010 - 19:06
Haha, amusing :)
Silver Spun Sand | January 9, 2010 - 19:18
Pleased you thought so and good of you to say;-)
Tina
MistakenMagic | January 9, 2010 - 22:06
'Renowned
for its spinosity
and yet, given time
tends to lose
that cutting edge
technology.'
- loved this stanza Tina! There's too many great images here to name - brilliant take on the IP ;)
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | January 9, 2010 - 22:48
I must admit, I was really proud of that stanza too, Magic ...thanks to Roget and his priceless Thesaurus;-)
Thanks to you, as always, for your interest and encouragement.
Tina xxx
Frances Macaula... | January 10, 2010 - 11:31
Loved this - exactly the sort of result I hoped for with my little suggestions of an IP Exercise.
Such a very clever metaphor for an unusual choice of object with the first 4 stanzas are fresh and original (I'm unaware of the song mentioned).
However, IF I was to critique I would say although I enjoy the sentiments of the last two stanza, they don't seem to fit as comfortably as the previous.
Well done You!!!
Silver Spun Sand | January 10, 2010 - 12:38
Thanks so much for that, Frances;-) It was surely a highly challenging IP which I really enjoyed tackling.
As regards the last two stanzas, I guess I was trying to describe that final immeasurable split second when the message gets through from the fingers to the mind what has just been touched, or in this case, picked up.
Thank you again, and thanks for a really good IP.
Tina
shoe | January 10, 2010 - 17:41
clever and entertaining, I too really liked the stanza Magic quoted, and the ending brill!
Silver Spun Sand | January 10, 2010 - 18:11
Thanks, Shirley! You made my day;-) Hope you had a good one.
Tina
MistakenMagic | January 12, 2010 - 19:50
Well done on the cherry Tina :) Well deserved!
Magic xxx
Dynamaso | January 13, 2010 - 06:34
Oh, I love that song (but do prefer Bowie's version over Mott The Hoople). Great rise to the IP this. I've been struggling with it...
Silver Spun Sand | January 13, 2010 - 08:53
It sure was quite a challenge this one - good luck with the struggling;-)
Thanks for reading, and yes, I prefer the Bowie version too.
Tina