Pouring bleach down the toilet,
her mind goes back to how
she’d got there; this shitty,
council maisonette – hiding
from her past...Day in, day out –
cleaning up his, and her kids’ mess.
Stands up just where she is –
loo-brush in hand...her eyes
scanning the flora and fauna
breeding on the bathroom tiles;
runs her fingers down her dress.
Just imagine – once upon a time,
she’d turned many a head.
Her thoughts regress to a job
she used to have – cashier
at a local garage – truckers
with their rigs; romantic
in an odd kind of way.
She’d watch them roll out –
disappear into the night.
‘For God’s sake take me
with you,’ she’d whisper,
under her breath, till one day –
one did. No prince on white
charger, but he’d promised
her his ship would soon come in,
and ten years down the road
she was still waiting.
Wipes a tooth-paste spattered
bathroom mirror – picks up
toe-nail clippings from the floor.
In the street outside, an ice-cream
van chimes its off-key rendition
of Greensleeves; the story of her life.
Comments
MaggieG | September 9, 2011 - 16:45
This is so very well executed. Form, syntax, even the enjambments are exquisite.
and the content ? Excellent
I really couldn't imagine this piece getting more perfect :)
skinner_jennifer | September 9, 2011 - 17:03
Hi Tina,
can I first say how much I love the title to this
piece of writing.
I remember one of my early jobs in the 70s working
for a trucking company and like in your poem, I had
visions of driving off into the sunset, with one of
the drivers who I was madly in love with, I'm so
thankful I didn't go with him.
This piece conjured up those memories and yet my
partner now is a truck driver, so it looks as if
I cannot get away from them.
You put down in words only to well, the thoughts
that used to go through my head, when I was doing
a cleaning job, I used to spend more time, day dreaming than I did cleaning. I was always being
told I didn't clean fast enough. Oh well!
Sorry about the rambling on, only I got so much out
of this poem.
Thankyou for the read.
Jenny.
Silver Spun Sand | September 9, 2011 - 17:56
Wow, thanks for that, Maggie. You've made my evening, and I hope you have a good one;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | September 9, 2011 - 17:59
Jenny - you ramble on all you want. Nothing is more enjoyable than 'your ramblings' as you put them;-)
I have always wanted to go in one of those big lorries. I love the names that some of them have, and the cabs always look like a home-from-home.
And as for cleaning jobs, I know exactly what you mean, and day-dreaming is an excellent way of being able to get on with the more mundane.
Thanks for your lovely comment, and I am so pleased you enjoyed;-)
Tina
sue dinum | September 9, 2011 - 19:47
Yes, Tina, I can only agree with all the above. You encapsulate in a few lines what it would take me a thousand words to achieve the same impact. Well done!
sue
Silver Spun Sand | September 9, 2011 - 20:59
Hey, many thanks, Sue;-)
Tina
MistakenMagic | September 9, 2011 - 21:31
Gruelling and gritty but oh-so beautiful, Tina. That final image of the ice cream van is particularly poignant. Very well done!
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | September 9, 2011 - 22:38
Hi, Magic. Hope things are well with you;-)
The ice-cream vans, and their chimes...still around, a bit like me, I guess, even after all these years;-)
Pleased you enjoyed and took time out to tell me.
Have a great weekend.
Tina;-)xxx
Highhat | September 10, 2011 - 02:24
You really captured this well. In some way I think a lot of women can relate to this. The dreams we once had- well >>I had some but then this woman is a sort of prisoner isn't she?
Nice one Tina.
;)Pia
Silver Spun Sand | September 10, 2011 - 07:48
Thanks, so much, Pia...and yes, I guess she is.
Pleased you got so much from this;-)
Tina
Cavalcaderl | September 10, 2011 - 08:36
new Silver-Spun-Sand
Tina. yes as Pia says, you have captured all of this so well. Who is Maggie Spencer can you say. Enjoyed all of this, I wondered if she cme from the field plantation working hard. As started reading book title,The Long Song went thinking all could read their poems. Library room no discuss chapter, free book all
went, so said, aloud read a bit,stop cuppa,discuss chapter at beginning, and bit tape, after read book pass it on someone else. By Andrea Levy.
Still got to read more of Let's Start Again.
Put your feet up! not gardening weather. Here.
julie xx
Silver Spun Sand | September 10, 2011 - 11:02
Hi, Julie - not gardening weather here, eiher, although my husband is trying to light a bonfire as I speak;-)
As for my poem, Maggie Spencer can be be anyone you choose...and could certainly have been one of the characters in your book 'Long Song'.
At the moment, I am preparing vegetables for dinner, then I shall put my feet up;-)
Tina xx
seashore | September 10, 2011 - 11:17
Is this a recurring theme, Tina? I'm curious! It's very very good anyway.
Cavalcaderl | September 10, 2011 - 13:01
new Silver-Spun-Sand
Tina, Sun is peeping through.
Only started 2nd chapter this book,it's a group go round by City Reads.
not much bite in it yet! Poor pregnant women in the field's. so have to concentrate more on it. Then says pass it on.
Oh! silly me not thinking could be anyone, Maggie Spencer. But a lot can identify in chemicals and things those day's in your good poem.
The flower's are budding out, and colouring fab.
I imagine like your wonderful garden.
Love roasted parsnips he does,love dumpling stew good cook.
have a good day, peace is what I need.
On bus, and area's dodgy, get my meanings.
Just venturing out.
all the best.
julie xx
Silver Spun Sand | September 10, 2011 - 13:21
I guess it is, Coral, now you come to mention it. You are more than perceptive;-)
Pleased you enjoyed.
Have a peaceful Saturday...rain, or not;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | September 10, 2011 - 13:24
Hi again, Julie. It certainly wasn't 'silly' of you to think that Maggie Spencer could have been one specific woman I was writing about. Perhaps I did. You see, that's the thing about poetry, it can mean a multitude of things to as many different people.
Take care now;-)
Tina xx