What’s Midnight Mass without candles?
They do their best here. Except …
no naked flame permitted.
My chattel – this dratted ‘umbilical cord’
I must drag everywhere, pumping the rarest of air
into my knackered lungs, puts pay to that.
“And we wouldn’t want, for one second,
to be blown away in a puff of smoke,
now would we, Mrs. Lawrence?”
Worse than a prison, this well-meaning place.
No locks on the doors.
Instead, iron bars on the windows.
What the bloody-hell for?
Health & Safety, somewhat over-zealous
these days. God forbid one of the patients
should fall, or possibly harm themselves.
And yet, almost without exception, us lot in here,
we’d be more than glad, even ecstatic,
to hasten the inevitable.
Before you go, take a look at my cards. I imagine
folk meant well, you included, but they didn’t
stop to think. Not one of them.
Take, for example, yours. ‘Happy New Year’, it says,
emblazoned in tacky silver glitter.
For fuck’s sake, I ask you. How impossible is that?
Incidentally, so sorry I’ve wrecked your Christmas.
A lot more attractive things you could be doing
on Christmas Eve. Like getting rat-arsed, as usually
you did. Minus me … of course. The ‘little lady’
back home, busy wrapping presents for the in-laws.
Sometimes I used to wonder whose parents they were.
Yours or mine? So it’s farewell then, Mr. Lawrence.
I trust your conscience’s eased. For now, that is.
Pity the divorce hadn’t quite gone through,
but in a way – I’m pleased. I shall enjoy being
a thorn in your side for eternity. I do so hope
Father Christmas brings you everything
you deserve. And I mean that … of course.
Speaking for myself, if I don’t wake up on Christmas
morning, I’ll know there’s such a thing as Santa Claus.
Comments
Ewan | December 12, 2008 - 08:40
Gasp!
Very powerful stuff. Cynical and bitter:
'I do so hope
Father Christmas brings you everything
you deserve,'
dripping with venom.
Typo in that excerpt in your poem you have 'your' for 'you'.
Think I'll sit down and think about some people I know.
Good poem, for me.
Silver Spun Sand | December 12, 2008 - 09:14
Ewan, thanks so much for reading and pointing out the typo:-)
Glad it 'spoke' to you in the way I had intended. I just sat down and wrote about somebody I had the misfortune of knowing.
Tina
Bradene | December 12, 2008 - 16:14
Thought this was brilliant Tina, you must have felt heaps better after writing this and clearing your head! (: Val x
Nathan Bednarek | December 12, 2008 - 22:16
'Pity the divorce hadn’t quite gone through,
but in a way – I’m pleased. I shall enjoy being
a thorn in your side for eternity.'
I'm quite scared- is that you speaking? I'm sure it is not, or at least I hope ;-p
I love this poem. The pure bitchiness mixed with a dwelling sense of sympathy is what makes this poem simply great. It hooked me from the start and dragged me on the floor right 'til the end, which is good as this brutishness allows me to gain more insight into the emotional side of the poem.
As always dear Tina, your work is an inspiration.
Nathan.
littleditty | December 12, 2008 - 23:43
she meant every word, you have written it so i understand exactly - a powerful voice and story Tina xx (cheers for the message btw, i got it only today! internet cafe limitations!)
Silver Spun Sand | December 13, 2008 - 16:24
Dear Nathan, thanks so much for reading.
No - it is not about me but about my daughter, who lost her twenty year battle with cancer on New Year's Eve last.
I feel very bitter about what happened, hence the poem, but strangely enough, she carried on loving the guy until the very end. He didn't deserve her, but then we don't always get what we deserve, ain't that a fact.
I am glad the poem said something to you, and I can only hope that 'Mr. Lawrence' reads it too, but I doubt that.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | December 13, 2008 - 16:26
You're darned right there, ld. She sure did mean every word, and more.
Hope you are well, and enjoying some of that glorious sunshine. It is tipping it down here!!
Tina:-)xx
Silver Spun Sand | December 13, 2008 - 16:33
Thank you for reading, Val and yes, I did feel much better for getting this off my chest:-)
Tina x
jennifer | December 13, 2008 - 19:12
A thoroughly excellent rant, I enjoyed it very much, although the back-story is terrible.
Why do women love bastards? It's my problem also, I fear!
J x
MistakenMagic | December 14, 2008 - 14:18
The first three lines were brilliant at setting the scene. A very chilling read, well done Tina.
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | December 15, 2008 - 10:59
And mine! Cripes, I hope he doesn't read this:-)
T x
Silver Spun Sand | December 15, 2008 - 11:00
Yes, it is all very chilling, I agree, Magic. Truth is stranger than fiction, or so they say.
My thanks to you for reading:-)
Tina xxx