Through half-closed blinds
shards of light pierce stuccoed walls
inciting them bear witness to the end
of this long night’s journey into dawn;
a crumpled fist defiantly curled in mine.
So soundly asleep – lay my cheek
next to his, so soon bruised by the world.
A tap drips in the sink – thrums a largo beat
and in the stove, yesterday’s coals grow cold.
He stirs; grabs at life with all ten fingers
and I pray to God no child of his will see
a faded army photo – hear someone say,
“That was your dad. You’ve got his eyes.
Did you know that, son?”
Comments
sarah wilson | September 17, 2009 - 07:25
very poignant and beautiful Tina x
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2009 - 07:29
Sarah - I thank you Tina x
threeleafshamrock | September 17, 2009 - 11:04
Simple, sad, lovely and effective.
Chris XX
threeleafshamrock | September 17, 2009 - 11:04
Simple, sad, lovely and effective.
Chris XX
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2009 - 11:44
Chris, thanks for reading.
Tina xx
MistakenMagic | September 17, 2009 - 14:31
Well done on the cherry Tina - richly deserved!
'Through half-closed blinds
shards of light pierce stuccoed walls'
- wonderful opening lines!
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2009 - 17:04
Thank you so much, Magic.
This poem was born of another I wrote about my daughter and I am really pleased I managed to successfully turn it around, or so it seems;-)
Tina xxx
Cavalcaderl | September 17, 2009 - 17:58
new Silver-Spun-Sand
Congrats: on the Cherry
I didn't answer so sad I knew
that it could mean your daughter
and I guessed you put Son and turned
it around. well done.
julie xxx
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2009 - 17:59
Julie you really do seem to have a sixth sense:-) My thanks to you for your empathy and for your thoughtful words.
Tina xxx
c.d.lee | September 17, 2009 - 18:35
brings me to tears as if remembering a childhood i never had, a father i never knew, thank you for the chilling insight, i am working through your poems, but i am marginally worse at reading them than i am at writing them so, through all yours i will go and hopefully be inspired more, my first cherry was from a poem inspired by your work. many thanks
chris
Silver Spun Sand | September 17, 2009 - 20:39
Chris, thank you for reading and thank you for being inspired. If there was only one reason I write, then I cannot think of a better one;-)
The mechanics of writing can be difficult to master, but what really matters is what you write, not how you set it down on paper, as long as it is legible, of course;-)
As to your first cherry, must admit, I am in awe of that poem. It is one I shall remember. Well done, again.
Tina
c.d.lee | September 17, 2009 - 21:56
might i suggest you read death in battle or death in the rain maybe a few others on my list maybe even a shepherds sacrifice to wet your appetite
best wishes
chris
Silver Spun Sand | September 18, 2009 - 07:57
Thank you so much for the recommendations, chris. I shall look them up and I appreciate your telling me about them. That is the wonderful about writing, it opens the door to so much more.
Thank you again;-)
Tina
Nathan Bednarek | September 18, 2009 - 13:28
A truly wonderful read. What I call real poetry ;-)
The poem's structured perfectly and the rhythm is very effective. The last two lines are a spit'n'polish finish, but the whole poem is just perfect. A well deserved cherry ;-)
Nathan x
Silver Spun Sand | September 18, 2009 - 15:32
My thanks to you, Nathan. I had in my mind two small boys I know, who lost their dad, a while back now, as a result of the Gulf War.
Tina x
fergo | September 19, 2009 - 16:29
Very nice :). Not much else I can say, mind. Just a great poem.
Silver Spun Sand | September 20, 2009 - 14:23
Fergo, I appreciate your words very much and I thank you for them.
Tina
Nolan | May 1, 2010 - 22:56
&&
Silver Spun Sand | May 1, 2010 - 23:11
'And per se' twice. Aren't I just the lucky girl;-)
Thanks for clicking on this one, Nolan. More power to your ampersands,is all I can say.
Other than that, you have me, for once, completely lost for words.
Have a good weekend.