“Goodbye, my sweet,” he says; plants
a kiss on my forehead...tears in his eyes.
I want to say, ‘Goodbye; I miss you,’
but the words come out all wrong.
I want to tell him, ‘I am hungry;
no one’s fed me in days.’ Want
to tell them, ‘No – please...don’t
take my plate away.
Is it such a crime to be old?
I have lost the power of speech,
but not my mind...’ Oh, I know
I am the butt of their jokes...this
‘decrepit geriatric’. I’ve heard them
in the corridor; a statistic, a bed-blocker
is what I am in here. The sooner I’m gone,
the sooner this bed will be free...
the sooner some other poor sod
will lay their head on the pillow – know
what it is to stew in a pool of urine
for hours on end...bed-sores
stinging like crazy.
See that photo over there – that was me
when I was young, in cap and gown;
the only girl down our street to make it
to university. Commonplace – nowadays.
Maybe that’s the trouble; a degree
won’t teach you when to hold someone’s
hand or to cut up their food.
And maybe, tomorrow, it’ll all be all right;
I shall start to forget. Forget I’ve got
an empty stomach... that my mouth’s dry
as the Kalahari...
that look on my husband’s face
when he thought I didn’t know him.
And, I might even forget to remember
who I thought I was.
Comments
Highhat | February 17, 2011 - 20:21
Fantastic Tina- we could all end up this way. Oh deary me- what a prospect- it's a bit sad isn't it?
;)Pia
skinner_jennifer | February 17, 2011 - 20:57
How sad Tina, I agree with Pia, it's sad to think
that one day this will come to us all, but then
again maybe not, hopefully the latter.
It also shows that we should never take for granted
what we have now and enjoy every moment.
Thanks for the read.
Jenny.
Highhat | February 17, 2011 - 21:08
It's more than sad Tina- it's tragic what you have portrayed here. Where is the care for this person? Doesn't anybody care? Is this a true story? Do you really think it happens like this in a nursing home?
How can someone have such little faith in their surroundings? Sorry got a bit carried away.
:( Pia
Silver Spun Sand | February 17, 2011 - 21:22
It certainly is, Pia. As, of course, has been recently higlighted by the media.
Thanks for reading.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | February 17, 2011 - 21:27
We certainly all do have to live for, 'this, here, now', Jenny. You are right.
I have had much experience of 'care of the elderly', from both sides of the fence, so to speak. Both of my daughters were nurses, and it was most certainly an eye-opener.
Thanks so much, for your lovely comment;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | February 17, 2011 - 21:37
Pia...unfortunately this is a 'true story'. And yes, it does happen, more often than not; in nursing homes and hospitals. I care, and obviously, you care, so let's just hope that the recent media campaign can go someway towards a change in the whole ethos of 'care of the elderly'.
Get carried away, as often as you want, Pia...and I mean that metaphorically, of course;-)
Tina
seashore | February 18, 2011 - 17:34
It needs to be said Tina, and you've said it well - I meant to leave a comment yesterday (the Neil Diamond song has been going round and round in my head!) then realised you had changed the title....
Silver Spun Sand | February 18, 2011 - 17:46
Yes, I think it most certainly does need to be said, Coral and thanks so much for reading this piece. I feel very passionate about it, as I have had much first-hand experience, and could tell many a story. Unfortunately, with the baby-boomers all coming up to retirement, I cannot see the situation improving in the short-term.
Thanks too for noticing the original title 'I Am...I Said'. It didn't seem to ring a bell with most people, hence why I changed it, but I'm glad it did with you. Some of the words in that song fitted so perfectly.
Sorry I have rambled and thanks again;-)
Tina
fatboy74 | February 19, 2011 - 00:27
What a horrible frustrating situation described very poignantly and with skill. :-)
Silver Spun Sand | February 19, 2011 - 08:55
Thanks,for reading, fb. I would like to think that since the nineteen-eighties, when my own mother was sectioned and admitted to an assylum at the age of 54 with Alzheimer's, things have improved. Unfortunately though, we still have a culture that holds no or little respect of the old and infirm, and until that changes, the outlook, I feel, is bleak.
rjnewlyn | February 19, 2011 - 14:42
Maybe I'm an eternal and deluded optimist but I think things will get better. The more the waves of righteous anger get stirred up by the media, helped along by highly effective pieces of writing like this, the more the anger becomes part of culture and the more things are likely to change. Anger at slavery and child labour were around for quite a while before they were abolished and I think this is the same sort of battle. So keep fighting!
Rob
PS The ND title would have been fine with me ...
Silver Spun Sand | February 19, 2011 - 16:06
Rob - you are right of course, and what you said, sure made me think. And yes, I shall keep fighting;-)
And as for the original title,Neil Diamond's 'I Am...I Said' is still ringing in my ears. The words are so apt and seem to say it all, and maybe I will change it back, some of these days.
'I am' I cried
'I am' said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why,
Leaving me lonely, still.
Thanks for your words;-)
Tina