Still can’t get his text
out of my head...
‘Find someone else –
I’m a loser...
I’ll only hurt you’.
Fifteen years
it took him to say it,
during which
I’d taken the rough
with the smooth
shared the good times
and the crap ones;
did all the things I shouldn’t,
like washed his clothes –
had his kids
and now he treats me
like this. Made a note
in my diary, and on the next
blue moon, I’ll look him
in the eye and say,
“I’m over you.”
Comments
mattstreatham | July 12, 2011 - 19:16
Really poignant, like the ending a lot.
JoseHdz | July 12, 2011 - 19:19
mattstreatham stole my word: poignant is the first word that came to mind for me as well. loved the frankness, and empowering ending.
cheers~!
jose hernandez diaz.
Silver Spun Sand | July 12, 2011 - 20:48
Many thanks, matt;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | July 12, 2011 - 20:49
And cheers to you, jose;-) Thanks, so very much.
awsamy | July 12, 2011 - 20:53
a really heartfelt poem lovely :)
Silver Spun Sand | July 12, 2011 - 20:54
awsamy - pleased you enjoyed, and much appreciate your letting me know;-)
Tina
J Beethree | July 13, 2011 - 02:09
Text messages are monsters. I like the bit about looking him in the eye. Texts become another enemy, forcing past-and-future consciousness. Loved it :)
Silver Spun Sand | July 13, 2011 - 06:48
JB - thanks so very much;-)
Tina
Highhat | July 13, 2011 - 07:39
a bit of someone's life- you hear about it don't you? very well coined- short and simple- I think maybe you need to check "liked washed his clothes" doesn't sound quite right???
;)Pia
Silver Spun Sand | July 13, 2011 - 07:49
Thanks, Pia...for reading, and for your eagle-eye. Have removed the offending 'd'...the little blighter;-)
Pleased you enjoyed.
Tina;-)
Cavalcaderl | July 13, 2011 - 14:35
new Silver-Spun-Sand
Really a good way with poetic
words, like the last stanza.
I can identify so much with yours.
and now he treats me
like this. Made a note
in my diary, and on the next
blue moon, I'll look him
in the eye and say,
"I'm over you".
Times I have scribbled things down,
spoken and tried to get answers.
Just done another year,but all went well?
I think after so many, years one knows them
so well, every move, little fibs white lies,
I think they call it The price of love.
Have a good day, cold looks stormy, so stopped
in from going singing centre.
The room is filled with, Gladiolis,mauve Chrysanthemums,spelt it wrong,little white daisy flowers. Huge pinkish lilies etc. few days old now.
His were sky blue,and deep purple,water coloured had
throw away, could stain curtains.
julie xx
Silver Spun Sand | July 13, 2011 - 16:20
Hi there, Julie;-) Thanks for reading.
Pleased you liked it so much.
Tina xx
Beeme | July 15, 2011 - 08:58
One from the heart Tina? Thats how is sounds, very powerful and poignant.
Beeme xx
Silver Spun Sand | July 15, 2011 - 08:59
Most certainly, Beeme;-) Tina