Let's Start Again...

Nicely done. And good luck with the competition.

Beautiful. I love the second stanza...

"and the crescent moons
that cradle her eyes."

The imagery throughout this poem flows into the reader's mind with such ease it almost feels abnormal. I think the way you structured this poem has a lot to do with it and I can also tell that you paid really close attention to the phonetic sounds within the poem. A triumph! Well well well done!!! ;-)

Nathan x

Much appreciated, celticman;-)

Tina

Nathan, you have such a way with words, and I thank you for them, much more than you could know;-)

Tina x

Wonderfully sinister (at least I assume it's meant to be that - hope I haven't got the wrong end of the stick).

Rob

'Wonderfully sinister' it surely was meant to be, Rob. You're spot on;-)

Tina

My favourite is the second stanza as well.
a dark poem but excellent- another gem
Good luck with the comp. A great one for it.
;)Pia

I really like this Tina. Particularly like the ambiguity in the final stanza. Good luck with the competition

Pia - thanks for reading, and for your words;-)

Tina

Many thanks, insert;-)

There will be a lot of ABCTalers crossing their fingers, that's for sure.

I commented on one of your poems that I was a sucker for short poems that say a lot - well I'm also a sucker for `dark' poems, Tina and this is really good. I like that you tell a story but leave the reader not quite sure...

Coral

Coral, I was not too sure when I wrote this poem, that I would be able to convey the story I saw in my mind to the reader. I seems I did, and I am more than grateful for your feedback, as ever;-)

Tina

This is so cleverly written, the way you describe
such a sad situation, especially those first two
stanzas, they sent shivers through me. But because
it's written so beautifully it works so well.

Thankyou for another incredible read Tina.

Jenny.

Jenny - you are also somebody who is always more than helpful with their feedback, as is certainly the case here. Many, many thanks and I am so pleased you got from it what I had intended.

Have a sunny day...oh, and keep writing;-)

Tina

Full of stark beauty and startling imagery, Good luck for the competition, :}

Many thanks, shoe;-)

Tina

Very, VERY good; this will take some beating; class act!

Chris :)

Gosh, Chris, thanks so much for that. Comments like yours are worth their weight in gold alone. Really, really grateful;-) Have a peaceful evening, and I hope that life is treating you kindly.

Tina ;-)xx

Yes I think what's been said about covers how good this one is; who do I talk to about getting my five pound back? All the best for the comp Tina. :-)

fb, your five pounds was never better spent, believe me;-) Actually, I have just read your entry to my husband, and he, like me, was bowled over by it.

I thank you for your lovely comment and equally wish you more than all the best in the competition. You surely deserve it.

Tina

I agree with Nathan, that line struck me, too, as did this phrase:

'drift in a mackerel sky' - I know exactly the cloudscape you mean!

Beautiful - fab imagery, really dark, an excellent 'take' on the title.

J x

Thank you, so much.

T x

I really enjoyed this. Particularly like stanza five. Good luck with the competition :)

Beeme xx

Thanks, so very much, Beeme;-)

Tina

Sand lady.
I join the others with congrats.
Delightful.
Kind regards

ScoZen - I much appreciate your reading this, and telling me you liked it too.

Thanks, so much, and you take care now;-)

Tina

Fantastic, good luck with the competition Tina :)

Sunday's thanks so much for your good wishes and indeed for taking the time to read;-)

Tina

New Silver-Spun-Sand
Great poem, like all the other's
said the interacting of brilliant word's
and describing of them.

Good luck with the comp:
This is another gem.
2nd stanza

And the crescent moons
that cradle her eyes.
Sit and sifts the cobwebs
in her mind,fearful
of what she'll find...
amazing.
Julie xx

Thanks, Julie. Glad you enjoyed;-)

Tina xx

Wonderfully well written, very powerful stuff.

:--) xxx

David...always good to hear from you. Thanks, so very much and I'm glad you enjoyed;-)

Tina xxx

There is no one like you, Tina, who can describe domestic situations like these with a poetic flair that few can match. Good luck in the comp.

Luigi xxx

Thanks, so very much, Luigi, for taking the trouble to read this, and I'm so glad you liked it. I really appreciate your good wishes in the competition, and I wish you the same;-)

Tina xxx

Very poweful and evocative. You have a knack for reinventing the language to suit the poem's convenience, which is what innovative writers do. They desperately need to communicate something that can't be articulated in the 'usual' manner so they play with language, bending the medium to produce something like "...sees it drift in a mackerel sky. Only fitting, the wind inhabits it now,..."

When you write like that, it conjures up an utterly personal signature, a fingerprint that can never be duplicated - not to mention another gem of a poem!

Thanks so very much for reading, barry. I really do appreciate your feedback, as always helpful and informative;-)

Tina