A voice says,
‘Hang on, she’ll go and fetch him.
She’ll only be a jiffy’.
His latest, I supposed.
He was in the garden –
digging, according to her,
and I could picture him...
Khaki, moleskin trousers,
brown checked shirt,
open at the neck;
a tweed cravat.
He’d be whistling away
to his heart’s content;
Colonel Bogy
or something of that ilk,
depending on how many times
he’d cut himself shaving that day...
Or indeed, if his shares
had performed well
as regards their bed
and breakfasting.
And all the while,
a twin-train
Viennese regulator,
doggedly ticking
in some down-town
sun-streaked hallway;
rainbow prisms on the wall;
fresh-cut roses
in a crystal, Lalique vase.
A footfall – floorboards creaking...
A voice says, “Hi! Who is this, please?”
For one brief, shining moment,
“Missing you, so much,”
is on the tip of my tongue
Comments
Sikander | May 19, 2009 - 00:45
A beautiful moment captured. You do it so well, Silver.
Dynamaso | May 19, 2009 - 06:27
Yes, a lovely moment well captured.
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 07:55
I value your comments, greatly. Thank you.
Silver;-)
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 07:56
It is good to know that a poem 'works'. And I am more than satisfied that in this case, it did, for you at least. My thanks to you.
Tina
Mangone | May 19, 2009 - 09:47
I agree with Alexander and Dynamaso, a beautifully described moment.
Interestingly, I thought the spelling of Colonel Bogy looked wrong but checking I found that although 'bogey' is the preferred spelling, 'bogy' and 'bogie' are also in common useage.
SteveM | May 19, 2009 - 11:43
This is very thought provoking.... a great snapshot.
MistakenMagic | May 19, 2009 - 13:02
I remember reading this when you posted before and the same lines just leaped right out at me;
'And all the while,
a twin-train
Viennese regulator,
doggedly ticking
in some down-town
sun-streaked hallway;
rainbow prisms on the wall;
fresh-cut roses
in a crystal, Lalique vase.'
A beautiful poem Tina and the ending is so haunting!
Magic xxx
sarah wilson | May 19, 2009 - 15:39
I agree with everything the others have said. Lovely.
SundaysChild | May 19, 2009 - 16:55
Very haunting.
Brilliant.
Nathan Bednarek | May 19, 2009 - 17:04
A beautiful poem with a spit'n'polish ending. Well done.
Nathan.
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:10
My thanks to you, Mangone. Don't you just love dictionaries! Seriously, though, you make an interesting point. The foibles of the English language never ceases to amaze me;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:11
Steve - my appreciation to you for reading and for taking the time and trouble to comment so positively.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:12
Magic - thank you. I do so hope your exams are going OK. I am sure they are;-)
Tina xxx
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:13
Sarah - you are a star! Thank you for reading.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:14
Thank you so much for reading and for your words.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:16
Nathan, I do so love your way with words. 'Spit 'n polish'. Now there's a really great phrase. Well done to you, too.
Many thanks.
Tina x
sunshine | May 19, 2009 - 17:32
Superb - very effective. I was struck by the same section as Magic. beautiful evocative, description. Margot
Silver Spun Sand | May 19, 2009 - 17:43
Margot - many thanks. Your comments always more than valued.
Tina
threeleafshamrock | May 24, 2009 - 08:37
You are a master (mistress just didn't sound proper;) of this type of 'capture the moment' poem. It always comes across as so real and so believable and for old fogies like me, relative to someone I know; of course that's exactly what poetry should be about I suppose. Well done on a lovely piece.
Chris xx
Silver Spun Sand | May 24, 2009 - 18:11
We really must stop meeting like this, Chris;-)
Glad you enjoyed it. I sure enjoyed writing it.
Tina xx
kirst | August 13, 2009 - 18:54
Haunting
Silver Spun Sand | August 13, 2009 - 21:05
I really appreciate your reading this poem, kirst, as it is very special to me...as you seem to have sensed.
Thank you;-)
Tina
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