Standing at the sink washing dishes, I have to smile –
watching my three, and the two next door playing conkers.
Best thing about this dump is the chestnut tree and the garden –
house not up to much. Only what you’d expect of Army Barracks.
Mind you, next May we’re due to be revamped, so they tell us.
New windows and a paint job. I’ll believe it when it happens.
How time flies. It’s a year ago tomorrow, those two lads
lost their dad. He was posted to Basra. Killed in action
they told his widow. Nice woman she is – salt of the earth.
His death nigh on destroyed her but she’s picking up the pieces
day on day and her kids get on famously with mine. They fight,
have their disagreements but boys will be boys after all.
Here comes her eldest, Billy. Looks dead pleased with himself.
“I am the champion. Yes, I am the champion,” he crows at the top
of his voice. What it is to be young, eh? A battle waged, fought
and won with something as benign as a conker and a piece of string.
Too many families like Billy’s and what of mine? Will it be like his?
If not this year, or the next – chances are, some other Spring.
Comments
Bradene | November 9, 2008 - 10:53
God Tina this almost destroyed me to read. So graphic and so true... when the little lads grow into men, will it be the same for them too? val.
Silver Spun Sand | November 9, 2008 - 16:44
You make a very good point there, Val. Only time will tell.
Thanks for reading, Val. Yes, a heartbreaking story it surely is.
Tina x
jennifer | November 9, 2008 - 19:16
Heartbreaking - at all true?
Feels more like a narrative story than a poem, though, somehow. Perhaps it is the meandering length of the lines - did you try other structures?
Nathan Bednarek | November 9, 2008 - 22:36
I actually like the structure. I know poetry is supposed to be a whole different kind of literature, but to be honest all types of literature have a connection in their structure and style. I don't mean to criticise Jennifer’s comment because she's a far more experienced writer than me, but sometimes this kind of structure can make a poem more efficient than if it were up to the traditional rules. I hope you understand what I mean.
Overall, this is great work. Well done.
Nathan.
Silver Spun Sand | November 10, 2008 - 08:57
Thanks so much for reading, Jennifer and for thoughts.
I maybe will 'mess around' with this, one of these days. At the time I wrote it, it was just a case of getting my thoughts down on paper. You know the feeling;-)
Yes it is true, unfortunately. My daughter's husband was in the Royal Engineers and I spent a lot of time in Germany with them when they were posted there a few years back.
Sad times indeed.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | November 10, 2008 - 08:59
Thanks so much Nathan. Glad you found the read worthwhile:-)
Tina