Durham Buildings reeks
of fish and chips and oysters,
chocolates and semen, reefers
and roses – bikes that run
on ether. Down the hall
the Pattersons are at it again
hammer and tongs. Their brat
with his new drum-kit, tries
to drown them out. And then
there are the newly-weds upstairs …
a kind of tempo rubato,
as cornices quake
and breeze blocks jive.
Scrawled-on stairwells resound
to a sweet discordant euphony
of climactic ecstasies. The squeak
and scrape of bedsteads, shakes
distempered walls, vibrates
Artexed ceilings; reverberates
through concrete floors.
And so we lay – backs still damp
on satin sheets; watch neon signs
melt into the moonlight. Listen
to the rhythm of the rain
tap-tapping on the skylight,
six-eight time. The electrifying beat
to the symphony of life.
Comments
Dynamaso | April 2, 2009 - 01:03
"Listen
to the rhythm of the rain
tap-tapping on the skylight,
six-eight time."
Excellent. I can just about hear the sound. A lushly-detailed piece this. I like it a lot.
SteveM | April 2, 2009 - 07:32
This conjures up a great image in so few lines.
Silver Spun Sand | April 2, 2009 - 08:36
Thanks so much for reading and commenting so favourably, Dynamaso. You picked my favourite lines too:-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | April 2, 2009 - 08:36
Steve, I am much obliged to you. Thank you:-)
Tina
threeleafshamrock | April 2, 2009 - 11:50
Wow! your at it again Tina; insatiable! LOL. Seriously though, this is really good and brings to life the character filled piece. It's like that film 'Hotel', lots of things going on simultaneously and coming together (excuse pun ;). Great stuff!
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | April 2, 2009 - 15:15
'And so we lay – backs still damp
on satin sheets; watch neon signs
melt into the moonlight.'
- loved this image Tina! Again, such brilliant a rhythm and a perfect, perfect finish! Well done on the cherry ;)
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | April 2, 2009 - 20:31
Wow! I remember 'Hotel' and I loved it! I know where you're coming from ... as they say. (Excuse pun;-)
Tina XX
Silver Spun Sand | April 2, 2009 - 20:32
Satin sheets - nothing like 'em. Or so they tell me:-)
Tina xxx
Curse of 222 | April 2, 2009 - 23:23
you've done a wonderful job here. congrats on the cherry.
oddly enough, what stood out the must for me was the effect of the line-breaks on the feel and rhythm.
reeks...oysters...reefers.
resound...euphony...squeak.
shakes...vibrates...reverberates.
jason
Silver Spun Sand | April 3, 2009 - 07:31
Jason - thanks so much. I am always grateful to anyone who reads my work, let alone takes the trouble to comment on it, but when someone such as yourself, notices the small things that add to the whole, it is always a great bonus.
Tina:-)
Nathan Bednarek | April 3, 2009 - 12:20
This poem is amazing. It has a rhythm of its own and the imagery is wonderful. As always, well done.
Nathan.
Silver Spun Sand | April 3, 2009 - 13:06
I've said it before and I'll say it again, "You're a star!"
Tina x
Curse of 222 | April 6, 2009 - 00:04
you're very welcome, tina. as i see it, it's the small things that make all the difference.
jason