Funyuns and Wagons: the Tale of Dildo Faggins I

  the continuation of a never-ending novel about random nonsense.

"Firstly, allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Rogbut, fancy man of Driftwood, and I am on a quest for a very important flask" the hulking green-skinned man had a surprisingly noble air as he spoke. He was an Orc, one of the cursed race of Elves known for their brute strength and fierce, pig-like appearance. Dildo scratched his head as he retrieved a long pipe, packing. it with some herbs and striking a match as he placed it to his lips. He then proceeded to take a long, copious drag before offering it to Rogbu. They toked heartily, passing. it back and forth as he explained how the flask was blessed with an ancient magic that kept it full of the finest Whiskey known to man,.

And by time they had finished Dildo agreed to.accompany him, provided that he be awarded a large sum of gold and be allowed to maintain a proper buzz throughout the quest's entirely. To all this Rogbut readily agreed and they decided to rest there before setting off for the dreaded Phallus Mountains to the far East, named for the suggestive appearance of it's peaks. The next morning after breaking their fasts Dildo took a big greasy shit and they set off on their long, arduous journey in search of the fabled flask