After Fern had left, Evelyne oiled the skins her
daughter had washed, before they became to dry and
stiff, she was worried about her daughter she knew
it would be time to move on soon, which meant that
Fern would have to get used to new ground, but she
knew they could not stay here it would be dangerous.
Some families had the luxury of living in wagons
pulled by horses, but Evelyne and Nathen built
shelters from anything they could find, then
moved around on foot, it meant they wouldn't have
the responsibility of looking after and feeding
horses.
She decided to take her mind off things and build
a fire, she never had enough kindling so she
decided to take Jay into the forest to collect
some. Evelyne followed the stream incase Jay got
thirsty, picking up twigs wherever she could find
them.
As she walked she was suddenly overcome with fear,
like the instincts of her ancestors she could
smell danger, she grabbed Jay in her arms and ran
to the stream to wash away her and her son's
scent, then she dashed for the trees, she climbed
high up into the branches of the tree and waited,
telling Jay to be very quiet, but Jay being so
young did not understand, so then she said quietly,
"If you are very quiet, I will give you a treat,"
Jay loved treats and so was quiet.
All of a sudden the birds started to fly, Evelyne
was almost to afraid to breathe. Suddenly her worst
fears were recognized, she could see some hunters coming they were heading her way, she didn't
recognize them, she could see her camp from the
tree and hoped the hunters would not see it.
As they got closer, Evelyne had the shock of her
life, the hunters had prisoners, one of the prisoners was Nathen, 'what was she to do? if she
got down now she would be taken aswell.' she
thought.
The hunters found their camp, they ransacked the
camp, taking what they could, then to Evelyn's
horror they set fire to the hut. Evelyne wanted
to cry out, but she couldn't, she sat there in the
tree just staring with fear, she thought, 'what
will they do to Nathen?' she thought she was going
to faint, but she was in the tree and she had
hold of Jay, so she pulled herself together and
took some deep breathes. She watched as her camp
burned to a cinder, all their hard work gone up
in flames, she thought, 'I knew it was wrong to
stay as long as we did.'
To be continued ........
Comments
insertponceyfre... | March 25, 2011 - 13:25
you're doing a really good job building up the layers Jenny. I'm looking forward to the next part
Silver Spun Sand | March 25, 2011 - 13:53
Same here, Jenny. Don't keep us waiting too long;-)
Tina
Highhat | March 25, 2011 - 14:38
Hi Jenn
I thought I would keep my comment until I had read this one today. ( and of course the other excerpts from today).
Wow you are such a good story teller and you know just so much about nature. I didn't know you could brush your teeth in sage and I tell you I believe every bit you write because your knowledge is expansive.
I am looking forward to the next chapters. They have such a good flow and like Insert says you have complete control of the layers of this story. Must be a lot to keep account of. Well done.
;)Pia
skinner_jennifer | March 25, 2011 - 15:21
Hi insert,
that is a great way to put it, I really like that
idea of building up the layers, thankyou so much.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | March 25, 2011 - 15:22
Hi Tina,
I'm really enjoying writing this story and knowing
you are enjoying it, makes it even better.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | March 25, 2011 - 15:25
Hi Pia,
you have given me such a boost with your great
feedback, this is such a challenge to me and it
makes it all the more worth while knowing that you
are enjoying it.
Thankyou again.
Jenny.
fatboy74 | March 26, 2011 - 01:35
I've just read all of these Jenny and have enjoyed how you have built this up, really like the short snappy sections and you are making us care for these people. You have a lovely way of describing these characters. :-)
SteveM | March 26, 2011 - 07:33
Hi Jenny, You've got momentum in this tale. You didn't make the mistake of dwelling too long on everyday life in the camp ... straight into the action ... now Evelyne's life has been turned upside down ... surely nothing worse can happen? Or can it?
Steve
skinner_jennifer | March 26, 2011 - 12:15
Hi fatboy,
you don't know how much I appreciate the fact that
you are following this story. I tried to give the
reader an insight into the characters, I'm glad
that you have picked up on that.
Thankyou again for reading and commenting.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | March 26, 2011 - 12:19
Hi Steve,
well the story is well and truely on its way now,
there's no turning back, really glad that you are
enjoying the story so far.
Thankyou so much for reading and the comments are
what keeps me going.
Thankyou again.
Jenny.
well-wisher | April 5, 2011 - 12:00
I think that you've really proven that you can write fiction well.
The action scenes in this chapter are well described and paced and the thoughts and emmotions of Evelynne during this time of panic are thoroughly believable and not overwritten.
skinner_jennifer | April 5, 2011 - 12:09
That is so kind of you to tell me well-wisher.
I'm afraid I do lack confidence in my writing,
but you have helped me a lot.
Thankyou again.
Jenny.
Kahdai | June 5, 2011 - 16:20
This is brilliant Jenny, could have read it all in one go before! suspense...
http://www.abctales.com/story/skinner-jennifer/chosen-ones-part-six
skinner_jennifer | June 6, 2011 - 09:37
That is so kind of you to let me know Kahdai,
I am so grateful for the connections you have
done.
Thankyou so much.
Jenny.