Jonah's guard whose name was Jermiah was not about
to wake Jonah, he knew better, Jonah would only make an example of him.
No his only hope was not to stick around, Jermiah
had eaten and drunk well, he decided there and then
to escape, he turned and ran off through the forest
without looking back. His thoughts then turned to
the girl as he ran, he wondered how she had escaped, but in a way, he was glad that she had.
********************************
Jonah was the first to awake, that morning, the
first thing he did, was to relieve himself, then
he washed down at the rivers edge. He saw the fish
under the water and thought, 'yes this is a good
day to fish, after I have put the men to work.'
All of a sudden, a voice was calling him from the
camp, "Jonah!...Jonah!" he looked around angry at
being disturbed, "Oh what is it now?"
As he turned Ezra, one of Jonah's men was running
towards him, "It's the girl, she's gone."
"What! where's Jermiah?" said Jonah.
"He's gone too," said Ezra.
Jonah could not believe, that one of his own men
would betray him.
Ezra turned to Jonah, "I'm afraid that's not all,"
"What do you mean...not all?" said Jonah.
"Arvid has gone as well."
Jonah by now felt betrayed, he paced up and down,
"what's going on, my own men betraying me?"
"Should we go and search for them?" said Ezra,
almost afraid to ask.
"No!" shouted Jonah, "they will be long gone by now." He needed time to think alone. Ezra sensed
this and left Jonah on his own.
Once Jonah had thought the situation through, he
called Ezra back, "I have made a decision, I want
you to call all the men together, I want a meeting,
do you understand Ezra?"
Ezra had never seen Jonah so calm, it was unnerving
to see him like this considering what had happened.
"Yes I understand, do you want me to call them now?"
"Yes! right now," Jonah was feeling slightly pleased with himself.
Jonah took his time finishing his wash, then calmly
made his way back to the camp. Jonah could see the
men all standing around waiting. 'Blithering idiots,' he thought to himself.
As he approached the men, he spoke, "I suppose you
are all wondering why I have gathered you all here?
well if you don't already know, the girl escaped last night."
The men all stared at each other, then looked back
at Jonah.
"Right not only has the girl gone, but two of my
men have also left and betrayed me, it seems I'm too easy to decieive... so I have made a decision, from now on, any man who tries to escape,
will have to live with his conscious, because for
his escape...another man will die, do you understand?"
The men were terrified and wished they had tried to
escape before. Bruin turned to his friend Daniel
and said, "I had the chance to escape with Joshua,
I should have gone, but I was to frightened, now
we have even more to fear."
Jonah shouted, "right now all of you...back to work."
The men turned and walked away with a big depression hanging over them.
To be continued .........
Comments
sue dinum | April 14, 2011 - 21:25
I think it's really clever how you maintain the tension in your story, Jenny, and you have the trick of making people want to read on. Storytelling seems to come so naturally to you and I can imagine you telling bedtime stories to your children (or any children, come to that) just off the top of your head. You are a natural. Well done and keep going because you are getting better and better, and your facility with words and expression continues to improve with each chapter. And you should get a whole bowl of cherries too, so take note editors.
sue
skinner_jennifer | April 14, 2011 - 21:36
Thankyou for letting me know. I do enjoy reading to
children, because they are such good listeners, the
only problem is, my west country accent, always
makes me sound like Pam Ayres, and I detest listening
to myself on tape, or the answering machine, I really
want to cringe.
It's definitely not easy writing, stories or poems,
this is the first one I ever wrote, I only came to
writing three years ago. Most of the stuff I wrote,
was with pen and paper, but by reading others work
on here, I feel I have improved a lot, although there
is still so much more to learn.
Anyway thankyou again for the great comment Sue and for reading.
Jenny.
oldpesky | April 15, 2011 - 08:05
Well done Jermiah. The number of fugitives grows by the day. But that Jonah didn't get to where he is today by being soft. I like the way you kept him calm today but also delivered the bombshell of others being killed if anyone else tried to escape. Very clever.
skinner_jennifer | April 15, 2011 - 08:48
Thanks so much old pesky,
you are so kind with your words, it seems like there
is no end to the steps Jonah will take, to keep his
men in check. Glad you're still with me and enjoying.
Thanks for reading,
Jenny.
pinda | April 15, 2011 - 15:57
I definitely agree with Old Pesky on this one, it's nice to see the calm side of Jonah once in a while hahaha :D
Though he has lost two of his men it seems that it has only made his evil reign stronger and more sinister.
Well done jennifer, taking another weekend off from this story I assume?
X
Pinda
Silver Spun Sand | April 16, 2011 - 13:30
Hi there, Jenny;-) Just a couple of minor typos. 'As well' is two words, as in the sentence, 'Arvid has gone as well'. And in the fourth paragraph from the end, should read 'too easy to deceive...'
I agree with Sue, your writing is coming on in and leaps and bounds. We all have so much to learn, Jenny, but learning can be fun as you make so crystal clear in your writing.
Looking forward to the next part, of course;-)
Tina
skinner_jennifer | April 16, 2011 - 13:31
Hi Pinda,
thanks for the great comment, I'm not quite sure what
is happening at the moment, so I might be putting
another couple of episodes on tonight, it all depends
on what my other half has in store.
Thankyou again for reading, watch this space.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | April 16, 2011 - 13:36
Hi Tina,
I've just tuned in to ABC Tales, I really do
appreciate your help and support, will put those
mistakes to right, just as soon as I've answered
your comment. Anyway like you say, it's a wonderful
experience to be able to write a story, that so
many people are enjoying.
Thankyou for reading, commenting and your help.
Jenny.
insertponceyfre... | April 16, 2011 - 13:54
I'd just like to echo what's been said about your story telling ability Jenny - I definitely think you have a talent for it - and it's really come a long way since you started posting here
skinner_jennifer | April 16, 2011 - 14:41
Hi Insert,
that is so great, I can't thank you enough for letting me know.
Thankyou also for your support.
Jenny.