Back at the cave Meradith was beside herself with
worry, her daughter gone, her husband gone and their horse all gone.
Meradith went to the entrance of the cave, she shivered, there was a cold chill in the air, she
thought it looked like there could be some rain.
Meradith was right, it poured down, for the first
time in ages, there was thunder and lightening,
crashing through the forest. Poor Meradith went back inside feeling hopeless.
"Listen!" said Evelyne, suddenly feeling a strength
coming back, she also realised she had to take control of the situation. "We must all stay calm,
on no account can we afford to fall apart. We know
there are bad hunters out there, we thought we were
safe in the forest, but without any men, we have no
chance. Meradith, listen to me!"
Meradith suddenly seemed miles away. "Meradith,
Meradith!" said Evelyne, shaking her.
"What is it?" Meradith asked, as if in a dream.
Evelyne shook her once again. "Meradith listen to
me! when the storm is over, we will go and look
for Bella."
At that moment Meradith came to her senses, "find
Bella...yes, yes!" she went to move towards the
entrance of the cave.
"No listen!" said Evelyne, "when the storm is over,
not now."
Meradith looked at Evelyne, "my poor Bella is out
there somewhere in this storm, Oh!...poor Bella."
Meradith started to rock herself and sobbed, "poor
Bella...poor Bella."
To be continued ........
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | April 12, 2011 - 16:48
Jenny - I think you are gauging this story, just right;-) 'Small bites' are very effective, and leave your readers wanting more...which is how I'm feeling right now. Which is good;-)
Again, you have built the atmosphere nicely with the gathering storm, and I shall just have to wait, as patiently as I can, until tomorrow.
Tina
PS The last chapter looks fine now;-)
skinner_jennifer | April 12, 2011 - 16:52
Thanks for understanding Tina, and for your comment,
Jenny.
pinda | April 12, 2011 - 17:08
Totally agree with Tina, these small 'bitesize' chapters are really working well. I like the way you've got Nathen out of trouble and Bella into trouble. It's keeping a sharp edge to the story. I can't credit you enough for how well you've written this magnificent tale. I for one am curious to know how Bella will survive :)
X
Pinda
oldpesky | April 12, 2011 - 18:46
What can I say that hasn't already been said? This continues to get better and better. When Prince was speared and killed it made me sit up and realise no-one was safe. And now that Bella has been captured...well...fingers crossed. Roll on tomorrow.
Highhat | April 12, 2011 - 20:15
this is an epic tale Jenny- well done
;)Pia
SteveM | April 13, 2011 - 08:21
Hi Jenny,
Just caught up with the Chosen Ones adventure. Going well, and as said above the bite size chunks are working. You're getting the 'cliffhangers' dead right.
What else can go wrong? Watch this space as they say.
Steve
skinner_jennifer | April 13, 2011 - 12:29
Hi Pinda,
I'm so glad that the bite size pieces are working for
you. I'm so happy that you have got the right idea
about Nathen being saved and now Bella is in trouble.
I'm also very grateful, for your more than kind words.
I never thought this story would take off as it
has done.
Hope you keep on enjoying.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | April 13, 2011 - 12:34
Hi oldpesky,
glad to know you are still enjoying the story, you
are right ofcourse not even the animals are safe
from Jonah.
Thankyou so much for reading and your great comment.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | April 13, 2011 - 12:37
Hi Pia,
yes it certainly is an epic tale, just hope people
don't get bored with it.
You reading is what keeps me going, so thankyou so
much.
Hope you are keeping well.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | April 13, 2011 - 12:40
Hi Steve,
yes watch this space, it won't be long now. That was
very kind of you to say I was getting the cliffhangers right, that was exactly what I was trying to achieve, so you've made me very happy.
Thankyou again.
Jenny.