When your young, you don't realise your life has just begun. The things that matter most to you are boys, girls and being cool. School is tough, the work you do is never enough. You feel left out you want to belong even though you know it's wrong, so you skip the work and put the computer on. You meet some friends down the park, have some beers and have a lark. It's half past nine you should go home, but your mate say's, "Ah come on don't leave us on our own." So you stay,turn off your phone.
Your mate say's "Here have a smoke," "What is it?"
you ask. He say's, "Oh just some dope." You take some puffs and start to float, Its just like being
on a boat. You take some more and find a sea of colours on the floor. You cannot believe what you are seeing, suddenly life has meaning. It's four a.m. and you must go home, what to expect well probably a moan. You turn the key in the door, your mum's still up it's half past four. But your tired and bemused and not quite sure of what to do. Your mum say's, "Get to bed and think about what I've said." You turn to look at her and say, "Yeh Okay." Then fall into bed and drift away. Another school day begun, you just get to class before the school bell's rung. You see your mate's in the break, They say last night was really great. "How about again tonight?" But you say, "No I've an essay to write." Why is it when your young and your life has just begun, you want to be free to have some fun, But in the end your plans get undone. Life's not so simple when your young.
When your young
Posted by skinner_jennifer on June 27, 2010 - 12:49
from the ABC set Poems
from the ABC set Poems
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Comments
insertponceyfre... | June 27, 2010 - 18:40
Hi Jennifer - you might want to run this piece through your spellcheck once more. Thanks for posting it
skinner_jennifer | June 27, 2010 - 21:18
To whoever made the comment about my spelling, thankyou very much I love to have constructive advice. Please can you tell me where I went wrong?
insertponceyfre... | June 28, 2010 - 04:27
I've done the first paragraph with the corrections in brackets. It's mainly just little things - apostrophes in the wrong place etc. Also the title needs attention. Hope that helps : )
When your (you're) young,you don't realise your life has just begun. The things that matter most to you are boy's,girl's (boys, girls) and being cool. School is tough, the work you do is never enough. You feel left out you want to belong even though you no its (know it's) wrong,so you skip the work and put the computor (computer) on. You meet some friends down the park,have some beers and have a lark. It's half past nine you should go home, but your mate say's,(says) "Ah come on don't leave us on our own." So you stay,turn off your phone.
The Chosen One | January 4, 2011 - 23:39
I think everyone understands just fine, without any corrections.
Let's talk in a language where people understand, not be so worried to feed the ego of the almighty. Let us unite, let us be free, no need to transform.
These words remind me also of sitting in the park, smoking lungs, playing guitar, feeling young and free.
Then heading home, the dream ends and the new day begins back to school, back to the drudgery of walking to school in the rain, struggling to light a cigarette.. failed to do coursework.. But to me it always seemed the teachers had their head in the clouds not me. Why did they seem to think they knew more than me about life? I was only there to learn subjects, not for the sports teacher who was always in the local pub fighting, or the head master who got caught with a male 6th former and his pants down, and the french teacher who slept with a 6th former and the photography teacher who who dated a 5th year, to be teaching me about life!?
Would be nice to know a little about you.
peace
skinner_jennifer | January 19, 2011 - 10:47
Hi Chosen one,
thankyou for your comment, sorry its been a little
late in replying, only I loose track of some of my
old stuff.
I know what you mean about sitting in the park and
feeling free, not worrying about what is right or
wrong, just doing what comes naturally at the time.
Thankyou for reading.
Jenny. Peace to you.