Another Lonely Day in Space

One day six spacemen got into their spaceship and blasted off.

“I’d give it a few minutes if I were you,” said the Captain, “Space Cadet Dweeble has been eating beans again,” and he opened the space window to let the smell out. Then they took off.

Today they had to fight the Quarg who were quite close by in their hypergalactical space pods. They chased the Quarg to the other side of the galaxy, then they stopped for a cup of space tea.

“I expect we should fire our advanced space weapons quite soon,” said Space Cadet Dweeble.

“I’m the captain,” said the Captain, “and nobody fires any advanced space weapons unless I say so. Did anybody remember the advanced space bullets?”

“I think we shot them all last week,” said Mike Krull, firer of advanced space weapons. “We unexpectedly came across an unexpected space enemy and I had to use them all up.”

“How about the advanced space lasers?”

“Sorry Captain, they all got used up too.”

“Have we got anything to shoot at all?”

“We still have the advanced space peashooter, if Space Cadet Dweeble remembered to bring the space peas.”

“Well, Dweeble?” demanded the captain.

But Dweeble wasn’t Dweeble at all, he was a space monster who had taken over Dweeble’s body when nobody was looking.

“I just hate it when that happens,” said the Captain. “Will somebody please shoot Space Alien Dweeble before he…”

“No weapons, sir.”

“Poison him?”

“No poison, sir.”

“Punch him on the nose?”

“Against regulations, sir.”

“In that case, let’s send him to fight the Quarg. I take it nobody has any objections?” The Captain glared at his crew with an advanced space glare.

So Space Alien Dweeble went off to fight the Quarg. Nobody much cared who won.

“Just another lonely day in space,” ruminated the Captain. “It’s a good job we’re here to police these mean, advanced space streets or people wouldn’t want to sleep soundly in their beds. They’d get up to make a sandwich or have a pee. We don’t get any thanks, but that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to do our doody.”

All of a sudden, the five remaining spacemen blasted off.

“For Zobbler’s sake, somebody open a window,” laughed the Captain.

Everybody else laughed too, it was their favourite space joke.