Less is More

Less is More

Less is more, more or less,
Particularly when applied to a dress:
The less there is, the more they stare,
Her less is most when she’s quite bare.

Boredom

I am bored; soon I’ll be lodging,
Bed is hard and breakfast stodging,
No hot water, no soft soap,
No hard luck stories about the time you were taken in by a travelling acrobat and felt such a dope.

Poison

Poison pens his puerile pent-up passion,
Forsaken flow feels foul in foolish fashion,
Silly sods slip sideways on soft soap,
Cans of clearest claret cannot cope.

Doing Bigs in the Tinkle Potty

In my youth I used a ducky pot,
Sat there straining, gave it all I'd got,
Knew the job would only take a while,
Now I can't sit down upon my pile.

Ghost

Which ghost do you love the most?
I like the one that brings me toast,
or roast goose, or a moose in a flavoursome sauce,
Of course.

Grunts

I make grunts like litters make runts,
My noise is all mistaken,
I wear my shoes upon my head
And wrap my feet in bacon.

Dorothy

Dorothy was a horrid girl,
She made her points intensely,
She joined the silly table round
And flirted with Robert Benchley.

Sharks

Sharks so rarely sing in the night,
Their toenails are too pointy,
They like to give those fishes a fright
And smoke a little jointy.

Boredom Revisited

I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored,
I fall upon my sward, freshly moan,
Until I come to thee, oh Lord,
When you will hear me groan:
I'm bored, I'm bored...
(repeat ad infinitum)