Me an' Staggy Beetle an' Me

Well now me an’ Staggy Beetle was
A-scratchin’ of our balls on Choctaw ridge
An’ we’d chose that place to goin’
On account of rhymin’ nice with ‘hatchie bridge.

I said what’s that B-J doin’
With the beer that he’s bin brewin’
An’ that girl that he’s bin lovin’
An’ his grizzly bear named Bruin
An’ that gum that he’s bin chewin’
An’ the fraudster he’s bin suin’
Folks might take him for a man who’s got the idge
To throw himself right off that Tallahatchie Bridge.

Now ole Staggy upped and farted like
A man who’s broken hearted swats a midge
An’ he sez I get your meanin’
Ole B-J looks like a gal who’s lost her fridge.

I see just what BJ’s doin’
With the boat that he’s bin crewin’
An’ his ole-time folly ruin,
An’ those snakes that need some zooin’
An’ the weed that he’s bin grewin’
An’ the hoss he’s done a-shoein’
In my ‘pinion he’s a man who bears a gridge:
He's just throwed himself right off that rhymin’ bridge.

So when mills have stopped their sawin’
An’ your daddy’s started crawin’ ‘mongst the sidge
You can hear B-J each mornin’
Like some jury that’s bin sworn in by a jidge

I can see what folks are doin’
With the hair I loved shampooin’
With my cow that won’t stop mooin’
With that model plane I’m gluin’
With the geese I set to booin’
With my knittin’ an’ my sooin’
You all paid that gal to give me a good nidge
So it looks like I done felled off ‘hatchie Bridge.