Monday 7th July.
We went out on Sunday night. It all turned out to be a bit awkward. Some time ago, my second cousin, Lisa said some horrible and unkind things about Russ, which upset him. This surprised me more than what she said because Russ is the type to not be bothered by unsubstantiated gossip. He couldn’t usually care less what people think of him. Lisa told everybody who would listen, mainly in the two pubs that we go to and throughout my family that Russ is gay, that he is only with me for what he can get out of me financially and that he is using me and doesn’t really care about me at all. She said that he sometimes goes out on his own for nights out and when he does he picks up other men. This is complete and utter rubbish. When he does go out without me, which is rarely, he goes out with his best mate, a bloke called Adam, who is happily married with three kids. Because Lisa doesn’t know Adam, and because he’s only ever seen him out with Russ she’s come up with this grand reasoning that they must be in a gay relationship. Her diagnosis came about soon after Russ and I got together. It was winter and very cold. Russ had bought himself a cardigan cum jacket with a fur collar and that was his downfall. He had a fur collar; therefore it stands to reason that he’s gay.
This all surfaced again a few months ago when she renewed the rumour and sent it around town again, just because it was so much fun the first time. We do go out with a gay friend of ours, and yes, Danny makes no secret of the fact that he fancies Russ. He jokes with us that he’s never going to stop trying to ‘turn’ Russ. Lisa can’t get her head around the fact that a straight man and a gay man can be friends.
Lisa is getting married and at the time of the last bout of rumours, Russ said that he couldn’t attend the wedding of somebody who thought so little of him. He said that the accusations of being gay didn’t bother him at all; he’s heard it all before and is comfortable with his sexuality. What upset him was the fact that she was telling people that he doesn’t care about me and is only using me. I had to choose between my family and my partner. Lisa was in the wrong, she’d been cruel and malicious, it didn’t take much to decide to be loyal to Russ and boycott the wedding too. I told Lisa quite truthfully that I couldn’t get the day of her wedding off work because Daz couldn’t cover me that day as he had something of his own on. Then I said that we wouldn’t be at the night do either because of the way she’d treated Russ.
Last week I received a text from Lisa saying that she and Paul were having a joint hen and stag night at the Ironies this Sunday. I wished her well, told her to have a fantastic night and said that we couldn’t make it. We rarely go in the Iron works since all the rumours went around about Russ. He doesn’t feel comfortable in there now. Mandy runs the Karaoke at the Friar Tuck now. We’ve been going there for the last few weeks and when that closes at midnight we go to see Jessy for the last few hours at the Gauntlet. We had no intention of going anywhere near the Ironies.
Imagine my horror when at twelve thirty we walked into the Gaunt to find the stag and hen night had gone there partly on the hunt for karaoke and partly to find me. Lisa ran across the room and flung herself into my arms ... she was very drunk! She started to cry.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’ve come. We’d given up on you. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”
I felt the size of a pea. We’d had every intention of letting her down.
I never said a word to give her that impression but Lisa got it into her head that we’d had second thoughts about her hen night and had come out late in a fit of guilt with the sole purpose of tracking her down. She’d assumed that we’d gone to the Ironies looking for them and had been redirected to the Gaunt. I felt like a heel.
“Well actually…” began Russ who isn’t always very good with tact.
“Yes, actually,” I said, cutting him off, “we’re very happy for you and just want to wish you every happiness.” I felt so guilty and it was only going to get worse.
“Jane,” said Lisa still crying beer tears, “Please come to my wedding darling. Without you, there is no wedding and it just won’t be the same. Please reconsider.”
“I can’t, mate. I honestly can’t get the day off work.”
“Can’t you shut the shop at dinner time. I don’t get married until a quarter past twelve?”
“Not a chance, head office wouldn’t wear it. I’m sorry.”
“Well there’s no reason why you can’t come to the night do. Please come,” she turned to Russ, “Both of you, please come to my wedding.”
Russ asked if he could bring Tia as he had her that night. Lisa explained that they’d made the decision that no children would be allowed in after seven o’clock. I fully understand her thinking. My mother’s sister had four children. Those four children had twenty children, those twenty children had about five hundred children and I there’s a fifth generation now. Russ put his arm around me and then kissed Lisa on the cheek, “Well I can’t make it, but Jane will be there as soon as she finishes work, won’t you?”
He knew that I was torn between two loyalties and put himself out to let me off the hook. I thought that was very big and forgiving of him. He told me later that his opinion of Lisa is still very low but that he couldn’t ask me to stay away from the wedding just to please him.
We babysat for my friend Mandy yesterday. We had her four-year-old daughter, Pippa, from ten in the morning until four. Mandy works as a taxi control operator on a Sunday morning and is often stuck for a sitter for Pipps. Sunday is my busiest day. It’s absolutely mad and I have to catch up on all of my housework and see to the animals, which takes pretty much all day. Having a four-year-old under my feet is so inconvenient but Mandy is a good mate and I couldn’t refuse her. Princess Pippalina is no trouble but she is time consuming and, like all four-year-olds needs constant attention. Russ offered to take her to feed the ducks.
That night Mandy came into the pub laughing. “Wait till you hear this one,” she said. She brought us two double vodkas each over…er one would have been more than enough and sat down to continue her story. She told us that she’d asked Pippa, “Did you have a nice time at Aunty Jane’s?” Pippa said yes and asked if she could come again. Mandy told her that he could come again soon. “And will that little boy be there?” confused Mandy asked if he meant Marty. Pippa scowled at her, “No mummy, Marty’s a big man. I mean that little boy who took me to see the ducks.” Mandy explained to her that Russ is older than her daddy but Pipps was having none of it and maintains that Russ is a little boy.
I’ve told Russ that he is never going to shave again and that by the next time he sees Pippa I want him to have a beard down to his waist. It’s hard enough facing the onslaught of old age charging towards me without having a boyfriend that children want to invite the their jelly and ice-cream birthday parties.
Half an hour later Mandy sent another four double vodkas over. I had to threaten to never have Pippa for her again unless she stopped. I had Pippa as a favour to her because she’s my friend; she didn’t have to bleed the pub dry of vodka to show her gratitude. Apart form anything else I had to open the shop at nine o’clock this morning and it’s bad enough coping with the exhaustion without having a bad head as well.
