Wednesday 16th April 2008.
This time last year we were we were sitting outside a riverside restaurant in Prague enjoying glorious sunshine. I'd be really sad and wistful about this if we hadn't booked our holiday for this year. In eleven days I could be strolling around a bazaar or swimming in the sea with a bed of blue and green coral. I can't wait. My only concern for the holiday is that looking at the maps we do seem to be in the middle of nowhere. Belek is little more than a village and there's a town beginning with a K near us and a larger town about an hour away beginning with A (I can't remember or pronounce their names.) Russ says it doesn't matter because everything we could possibly ask for is available in or around the complex.
See, now that isn't my idea of a holiday. I want museums and culture, people and how they live. I want to see architecture that is completely different to ours and landscapes that can take your breath away. I like bustling cities, markets and doing something that you just can't see or do in England. To my mind if we're just going to sit in the complex we might as well have waited until July when it's hotter and booked in at Centre Parks. Russ can do what he likes but I fully intend to be off exploring somewhere. I want to be able to write more of a travel log than, “Sat by the pool all day, oggled a fit waiter.”
Russ is doing my head in, he's writing endless lists, he has bought his suntan lotion and he has packed his case. Me, I've just daydreamed about sun kissed beaches and will get around to doing everything as I always do ... last minute. Soooo excited.
We have had the results back from Tia's tests. She is not coeliac. Well surprise surprise and I didn't even need a crystal ball to foresee that one. The good news is that we won't have to buy six small slices of bread at one pound eighty-five. But now of course we are getting the,”Well if it isn't a wheat allergy what is it?” This is based on a couple of tummy aches after eating. Russ says that her belly swells up and goes hard. I put the fear of God into him by telling him that it's blatantly obvious what it is. It's colonitis.
“What cancer?” he replied terrified.
“No, you idiot... wind! It's colic, give her a teaspoon of bicarb in a glass of water and she'll be fine.”
“That actually makes sense, she does pump a lot.”
“Well, there you go then.” But of course she'll be paraded backwards and forward to the doctors in the vague hope that it is something rare and spectacular to make her extra special.
I did Daz's appraisal today. I decided that the best thing to do was to do it with him so that I'm not going behind his back and I could then be completely honest. When it came down to it and because of the way the individual questions were phrased, it did actually surprise me to find that most of it was very complimentary towards him.
I realised that I only have four areas of concern with him.
One: the length of time he shuts the shop and goes walkabout through the day
Two: the amount of his friends that he has in the shop and the length of time that they stay.
Three: the insolent way that he has begun speaking to me recently.
Four: the number of times hse's been throwing up all night and can't come in. Or the baby's had him up all night. Or the missus has to go to the dentist.
Other than that he is extremely good at his job. He's good with the customers and they seem to like him. He deals well with trouble and can cope with the drunks and idiots. He often does tidying or maintenance jobs that I haven't asked him to do and he's clean, smart and presentable. So I gave him a good overall percentage and on the form where it requires things that can be improved upon I put down my four areas that I would like to see some change. He's happy, Head Office will be happy and I feel a lot better about leaving the shop in his hands when I go away.
I was offered an incredible deal yesterday but had to turn it down because of Tia's fear of snakes. Actually if it hadn't been for money being tight with the holiday looming I'd have talked Russ into it as an investment anyway because it was one of those deals that doesn't come along very often.
People sometimes buy reptiles without truly knowing the work involved in keeping them fit and healthy. Yes they are a hobby but they are also a science and if you don't get everything spot on your animals will very quickly become poorly and fail on you. Because of this they are costly, time consuming and what began as a passion can rapidly become a noose around your neck.
For this reason every so often people will sell off entire collections for a song.
I was offered a two six foot and two four foot stacking system, with all furniture and hardware. A normal (probed) 06 female Royal python. A hundred percent het probed male Royal python. This is a rarer morph of the same species. A normal male 07 corn snake and a pure albino female corn snake. And a boa morph with striped tail.
Stack value (with all equipment) anything up to a grand.
Normal Royal: seventy pounds.
Morph Royal: three hundred and fifty pounds
Normal Corn: seventy pounds
Morph Corn: two fifty to five hundred depending on the blood lining
Normal Common boa: two fifty but add another two hundred for the morph and the fact that she's female and at breeding weight making her value between four and five hundred.
These are trade, book prices but if somebody had a say a male albino corn and needed the right female (albino's being a rare genetic morph) the book price could easily double.
My red iguana has a stat book price of six hundred pounds and I've already had one buyer offering double and one offering triple that.
Going back to the great deal, I was offered the lot for five hundred pounds for a quick sale. I could have made my money back on the Boa alone, kept the stack for my own animals and sold off the rest of the snakes after getting a clutch of eggs off each pair.
Still I was flattered to be the first person that he approached and he did say that the price would double to anybody else. It seems that I'm making my name in the (under) world of reptiles again.
I'm feeling a bit hobbled by this only being allowed one snake lark. In fairness I did say when I went back into reptiles that I had no interest in snakes this time around because they don't have the personality of the lizards. However, after having Stoker, the old feelings have resurfaced again.
I'm still concerned about Shilma. I stayed up after shut down last night to watch her hunt. Ten minutes ater the house was quiet they both came out. It was fascinating to see what happens when we aren't normally there. They were both very active. Apart from the fact that she looks considerably slimmer than when we got her she's showing no signs of illness in any way. She stalked three of four locust. But when they hop away from her it's as though she just can't be bothered to chase them. I've tried feeding her dead insects. Very few lizards will take them dead ... Shilma's no exception. She did lick some baby food from the end of her nose though and she's drinking loads. We'll see what the scales say this week.
Yesterday and today the weather has improved considerably. We had a bit of a milestone day with Stoker yesterday. I took him outside for the first time. I'm going to say it again. When I bought him I was told that he was extremely aggressive. They told me that they would only consider selling to me because I'm a very experienced keeper. I was told that I may never be able to tame or handle him and to be very careful with him because he is a beast.
Well I think they sent me the wrong snake because that's not a description of my boy. I was a bit disappointed because I was up for the challenge of turning this bad boy around ... but my bad lad has been a pussy cat from day one. Yes he used to be a bit jumpy and skittish, but he's never been handled, that's only to be expected. In the four months that I've had him he's never once so much as struck at the glass. He's certainly never struck at a human being .. though he did once show us just how fast he is by striking at a rat that Marty was holding out for him after I told him that he wouldn't strike feed (first time for everything). He's one hundred percent bombproof. I even let him near my face now, something that I would never do with a temperamental snake, or one that I hadn't learned to trust.
Still first time out in the big wide world can be daunting for a snake. They don't hear as we do, their only audible sense is through vibration so things that we take or granted will freak a snake out. I've seen the calmest snake bite when cars have gone past, or when they've encountered a gust of wind on their skin for the first time. I once walked past a butchers shop with one of my burmese pythons. She smelled blood and I had to walk home, pretending to be calm and trying not to draw attention to us with a python slowly swallowing my elbow and leaving a trail of blood in my wake like a paper chase of chalk arrows. This was one of my home bred most trusted snakes.
I took Stoker out yesterday and just gave him a couple of minutes in the fresh air. Today we had him out or about half an hour. Because they don't show emotion it's very difficult to say when a snake is happy, but I'd lay money on it that Stoker enjoyed his outing as much as I did. He was tongue flicking constantly. He kept coiling round to bring his face onto mine, and he gave every indication that he was one happy and stimulated snake.
I feel embarrassed taking my snakes outside because of the 'status symbol boys.' Having a python is akin to some people to having a pit bull terrier or a rottweiler. They get the animal purely so that they can prance around with it and look 'hard'. I find the attention distracting and would rather not be approached, but I understand that many people have never been close to, seen in real life, or felt a snake and that people are curious. I only do something if it is good for my animals. There is no substitute for real sunshine and it's good for certain reptiles to be outside whenever possible. That's the reason I take my snake out for a walk. Stoker is only four and a half foot long, but he's a big chunky build. Walking for half an hour with him is good exercise, I can feel it in the back of my shoulders and neck.
Next job is to get Frog a harness made so that she can come out. That'll be fun!
Russ offended me the other night. We had been for our usual night out. You may remember that a few weeks ago a gay friend of ours came out with us and had a very embarrassing moment when he walked into the pub and I introduced him to the couple we knock about with, only to find that Danny had slept with the huband. Well we were out with them again this week, like last time I'm having to be a bit careful about identities here. We got chatting as normal with the couple and it was obvious that they'd had more to drink than they normally do.
Towards the end of the night a group of us were standing at the bar and the wife said, “ Do you know, if I was going to have a foursome it would be with Jane and Russ.”
I took this as a joke and it came so out of the blue that I thought it was hilarious at first. But she wouldn't let it drop and after awhile it became embarrassing. Her husband told her to shut up but she kept on and on. Later on we went out for a tab and she told me that they'd been talking about it in bed and had both said that their sex life is staid and they wanted something to spice it up a bit.
I guess Russ and I drew the short straw.
I told her that there was no way that I'd ever be into anything like that but tried to keep it light and a bit jokey. Back at the bar she grabbed my backside twice, by this time she was very drunk to my relatively sober. To be honest it was no big deal. I found it all mildly amusing and wasn't really fazed by it at all. I did say to her that I'd talk to her about it when she's sober because I think they're heading for big trouble. They are both madly jealous about each other. She has tons of personality, but is a big, big lass and not much to look at, very much older than her husband. He is the younger, very good looking man. They might think that they want to do this and that they'd both be okay with it afterwards but if they do find somebody willing to go along with them, I think it will lead to a lot of tears in the long run.
I'm a bit surprised that I haven't heard form her since. I was expecting a mortified text the next morning telling me that she was drunk and feels a prat. The fact that I haven't had one says that she feels bad about it and is worried.
Russ said that when we go this week that I shouldn't kiss her. I always give them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I see them. That's so typical of Russ. I'm not changing anything. That would just be making a big deal of it when really it was a few drunken words that I'm quite sure she's regretting now.
Russ offended me, when we got into bed he said, “Just for the record, I'm not interested in this foursome idea.”
“What and you think that I am? I promise you I have no desire to sleep with them or anybody else.”
“No, but you know, I just want to make it clear.”
Bloody unnecessary conversation. The husband has come onto me on several occasions and I've always made it clear that I'm friends with both of them, particularly his wife and that's as far as it goes. I've always told Russ immediately what's been said. They might want to play some bedroom games in the mistaken belief that it will enhance their marriage, but I'm very happy with my own relationship and have no desire to play games of any kind.
The sun is shining, the world is a good place to be and I'm so, so happy with my lot.
