Hypocrite

Have I become a hypocrite?
I please myself, a masturbater
because
the world did not love me
I
indulge myself
and eat myself to pleasure
having a low self-esteem, I try
to reward myself.

I became so suspicious of others, especially
white people
because they were so good at saying nice things
but also saying
such mean things behind my back

I learned the hard way, I
spoil myself
and kill myself
bottling up my emotions
suffering from a deep inferiority complex
so jealous of whites
for all the advances in the sciences, psychology, the arts and everything else,
I'm especially jealous of the Jews.

But I keep on feeding myself
loving myself silly
becoming a hypocrite...
instead of helping others who suffer
simply dosing myself with pleasure
so I don't have to care.