What's strange is that I travel
trying to find a home,
trying to find in the restless hustle
of the streets
a place where I belong, where
I can plant my being and expect someone natural
to grow.
You're cut down before you know it:
a rude remark, a honk of the car, an overwhelming
courteousness
that convinces you that you are from somewhere else.
If you blend in too well, they think you are a parody
an unwelcome mirror or even a malignant satire
that may eat away at their bones.
You grow so tired
trying to fit in somewhere
even in a rat's hole
in a nice condo,
you're trying so hard but you're just not good enough,
never ever so,
even they're not good enough
and it makes you wonder
who the judges are: are they
the ancestors
or those at the top who possess the power and the elegance to make
them so tired
striving for recognition?
When you do fit in, you feel
such furious sorrow and you drink it
til it sleeps.
Comments
Jasper_Milvain | May 9, 2009 - 23:05
Who are 'they' anyway? This reminds me of Larkin's 'The Importance of Elsewhere'
It's good. If you are going to redraft you might think about condensing it.
Thanks.
JM.
Steve | May 13, 2009 - 23:20
That was a very good suggestion. I do need to condense it.
"They" are the Koreans who are a part of the main culture.
I'm a Korean-American, and I like to visit Korea every few years because my parents in law live there.
I love Korean food and culture, but there are things about Korea that are difficult. Most of the country is mountainous. The country is also mostly homogenous.
It's hard to live in Korea as a foreigner. In Seoul and other cities, the restaurants stay open til early morning so it's hard to get a good night sleep. The traffic is always jammed. Motorcycles delivering food zoom around you. The cars tightly cling to each other.
It's tough to be a foreigner and belong because you can get so tired out, trying to be a Korean. Koreans have endured many hardships, so there is a contempt for people who like easy living. So there are cultural forces that keep the foreigner out, even when they are good, hardworking people.