Praised be the Lord,

the Lord is to be loved in all things,
for he has loved us in our lost moments,
he has seen our weaknesses
and kept us as one of his own, sheltered
known.
how great are his hands,
how great are his motives
for making us see how we are so driven
by basic desires.
It is not good.
It is not good.

so many days I wandered, thirsting for the truth,
rejecting God as an illusion,
wanting to taste the true waters of life,
so many days and I was lost
and God was there, smiling gently
seeing how terribly selfish I was.

I tried to change. I tried to change.
I tried not to hate. To go on, but
I find myself becoming as lazy as they are,
as condescendiing
as cynical and as stupid,
not knowing you
not loving you,
wanting nothing short of a prize.

Do not hate me Lord
for taking so long to see
how I was destined to become the face
of those whom I hated.
we are not eternally changeable beings
lusting after the perfect environment.