Badly-Damaged Brother

To my beloved and badly damaged brother.

Forgive me. I did not know what I was doing or what it was doing to you. All I can do now is tell you that I love you and beg that you never ever again shed another tear. Not for me. Not for our father's valiant but failed efforts at a source of comfort. And not for our mother's absence during those tragic years in both our lives.

Please don't be angry, brother, we have always loved you, throughout your whole life, you have never been anything but precious. You're an uncut diamond, more valuable than gold, and purer than pearls. Believe me, brother, you always were.

Just because you were healthy, doesn’t mean you weren’t loved. You were always loved, always. We were so different, but more equally special than we were treated. I’m sorry, brother. I didn’t mean to steal something so precious as love away from you, when you needed it as much as I did.

Nowadays, I see that faded look in your sad eyes and the most painful smile I ever saw. Faded and torn, you don’t know that you’re still more loved than you can see, for I fear you’ve long closed your eyes on the world and turned away from the living. Am I right, brother? Have you since turned your back on the light and begun the long walk down into shadow?

I pray there are stars above you wherever you are, and that you have not become so blind as to ignore even tiny drops of light. And I pray that when you feel a helping hand on your shoulder, you will meet a kind stranger and face the light where he stands. Take his hand, and let the short walk back into the warmth of the Sun begin.

Beloved, damaged brother. Ten years walking in the wrong direction. Just a day can bring you back into the light. Come home. You are loved.