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Smoke

Posted by SundaysChild on May 1, 2011 - 19:56
from the ABC set Is This Really Happening?

Another day has slipped away.
It's half past seven in the evening, and there is a stillness all around- the day mourns us; our inactivity.
It's so difficult isn't it? To explain, to discuss, to share. It seems we are locked away whilst gradually everything dissolves around us, erodes around us.
How long ago now, the caravan and Leonard Cohen- drowsy in the background, how long ago, those walks in Autumn- both of us breathless from love, from the sensation of falling into one another, physically, mentally...yes, all-consuming love and sublime youth, tainted maybe, but still...possible.
My heart does somersaults remembering.
Your brilliant, sky-blue eyes, (such a cliche, but oh, it's true!) bright with life and energy. The grace of your walk. Your good nature. Your principles. That kiss in the rain. Mutual masturbation whilst high on pills. Sex on the kitchen table. Random, drunken conversations. Cheesy horror films at 3am. Sweet, sweet laughter...
My god, if only we knew.
The fire spread, hot and fast- burnt our skin and souls and yet we hardly noticed. Now, the smoke lingers, suffocates- and I cannot see through it.

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Comments

insertponceyfre... | May 1, 2011 - 21:55

I love the way the reader is plunged into - whatever this is, and the way in which you go back and forth, not saying exactly what's happened, but leaving us in no doubt as to its awfulness. it's very well done sundays - I hope you continue with it

seashore | May 2, 2011 - 05:36

A very emotive piece

sonora | May 2, 2011 - 12:04

Stunning. Short, bittersweet and to the point. I've been there and it hurts like hell. You've nailed it. Thank you.

ScoZen | May 2, 2011 - 16:01

"...Sex on the kitchen table..." can you do that in a caravan?

"...Leonard Cohen- drowsy in the background..."
Great.

MistakenMagic | May 2, 2011 - 16:01

Those last few lines are simply magnificent. Well done on a well-deserved cherry, Sunday!

Magic xxx

SundaysChild | May 2, 2011 - 16:09

Thank you for the comments, much appreciated! Thank you for the cherry :)

@ ScoZen- technically we weren't actually in the caravan at that point, but I'm sure most things are possible should you try hard enough

Beeme | May 2, 2011 - 16:43

I agree- this is just great x

Silver Spun Sand | May 2, 2011 - 18:00

Fantastic stuff. Many congrats on the more than deserved cherry, Sundays;-)

Tina xx

rjnewlyn | May 3, 2011 - 20:51

Very good - as Insert says, the bittersweet mixture works well. And I do love the way Leonard Cohen sings with his eyes shut - nice to have that image.

Rob

Overthetop1 | May 6, 2011 - 13:16

I loved this - so evocative and reminded me of times in my life that I wish I could find the words to decribe - but you do it beautifully. Well done on the cherry too.

celticman | May 6, 2011 - 21:27

sublime youth' Ahh I was once young. Great story.

SundaysChild | May 19, 2011 - 19:43

Thank you for the lovely comments- just seen them!