Talisman

I like this. Short, but decidedly sweet;-)

Tina

This says so much in few words. Fabulous !!!

Thank you both very much for the feedback! :)

'The clouds are engraved
Within the cold silver skies.'

- what a fantastic image! Beautiful this one ;)

Magic xxx

Thanks so much, Magic. Really glad you like this piece :)

*Does anyone think I should change:

'You set it free so I stay true.'

to

'Setting it free so I stay true.'

Is it a bit clumsy having another 'You' so close to the other one as it stands at the moment? I'm a bit distracted today and not sure what I think of the final line. What works best? Any thoughts?

I probably would change it to 'setting it free', but it's a lovely poem either way. I too love the idea of engraved clouds:) sarah x

Thanks sarah.
I think I will change it.
Appreciate your feedback :)

new Sundays child lovely in so few lines and words. But what do you think etc; don't take any notice just came to me. To touch me talisman with surprise in yor eyes .
(2) this is remote talisman
like a wild thing who hold's
my spirit then releases it to
set it free like a dove so I
stay true.
Tell me it's not what you like ok
julie x

Thanks for the feedback Cavalcaderl.
I have just edited the last line, however I do rather like how the rest of the poem stands :)

I love this with its concise clarity beautifully written.

Paul

Thanks so much Biggus :)