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The Solitary Baptism

Posted by sunshine on June 19, 2009 - 16:36
from the ABC set Miscellany

She walked with dignity and grace into the river
shuddering almost imperceptibly when
the cold grey water rushed to welcome her
swirling gently against her frail thighs.
She stumbled slightly as the reeds tugged
at her ankles, but they could not hold her back.
One step, then another inching forwards
the water lapping against her breasts
her dress now lifting and floating
as she slowly, slowly, submerged.
Deeper, deeper she went until
her straight and rigid body swayed,
the power of the water testing her resolve.
Then suddenly, only her long auburn hair
now made dark and heavy
could be seen on the surface
floating like flotsam from a wreckage.
This sweet Ophelia had found her peace.

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | June 19, 2009 - 17:36

Oh, this is quite beautiful, Margot. It had me guessing all the way through as to the subject of the poem...until the last line, of course.

"Then suddenly, only her long auburn hair
now made dark and heavy
could be seen on the surface
floating like flotsam from a wreckage..."

These lines made a particular impact on me.

I think they are so effective because up until then, the tone of the poem is quite factual...and then this, with its evocative imagery. Brilliantly done.

Another one I shan't forget.

Tina

Ewan | June 19, 2009 - 17:43

The Pre Raphs are the subject of a huge upsurge in interest, critical re-evaluation and a few exhibitions. Reckon I can see Millais' floater clear as day.

Good poem

Ewan

Silver Spun Sand | June 19, 2009 - 17:46

Popped back to say congrats on the cherry, Margot;-)

Tina

sunshine | June 19, 2009 - 17:54

thank you for your comment Tina - I really appreciate what you've said as I find it so hard to strip away the superfluous words when I know simplicity is what will work - then I fear I've made things too simple. Margot.

Bradene | June 19, 2009 - 17:57

Beautiful work, very visual. love it. Val x

sunshine | June 19, 2009 - 17:59

Ewan - Millais' floater? Interesting terminology you've used there! Indeed the pre raphs are finding new popularity. I heard a pronouncement recently re there always being a resurgence of the old when recession bites. But going back to the mid 1800's is a long way back. Well as long as we don't all have to wear Laura Ashley aprons again!

sunshine | June 19, 2009 - 17:59

thank you Val.

Cavalcaderl | June 19, 2009 - 18:09

new SUNSHINE THIS GREAT THE LINE FOR ME DEEPER,AND DEEPER SHE WENT UNTIL HER RIGID BODY SWAYED THE OWER OF THE WATER TESTING HER RESOLVE. I HAVE 2nd
BOOK ON PRE-RAPHS AND THE PICTURE HER LYING THERE
YES A CHERRY What does new mean at beginnings.
I FOR A MOMENT WAS THINKING OF RELIGOUS BAPTISM
god bless julie

sarah wilson | June 19, 2009 - 18:09

What a beautiful poem. I agree with Tina as to my favourite lines. Truly evocative. Well done on the cherry. sarah x

threeleafshamrock | June 19, 2009 - 18:25

Very good work Margot; it's all been said and I agree with all the good stuff, very visual and paints a vivid picture. Loved it!

Chris XX

whiskey | June 19, 2009 - 21:28

Fabulous work. A well-deserved cherry!

DraxB | June 19, 2009 - 21:46

Stunning, a beautiful picture painted, and so very sad. The ending is perfect. A deserved cherry.

luigi_pagano | June 21, 2009 - 10:50

A superb poem which keeps one absorbed and intrigued until the final, revealing, line.
Excellent work.