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Pale Remembered Hands

Posted by sunshine on April 11, 2008 - 21:15
from the ABC set Moments and Memories

We talked of days now clouded in mists
Of memories and histories.
I remembered your once uncertain touch
And then
Overwhelmed by the newness of need,
I sought to confuse and cast the seeds
Of doubt upon our late communion.
You
Being strong and sure and clear in thought,
Saw that I was falling and caught
Me in pale remembered hands.

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Comments

animan | April 12, 2008 - 16:48

Yes, this feels like feeling - a hard thing to get across - it feels clever without being clever - it feels real and yet that little bit out of any specific time - it circles but takes a journey. And the final line is worthy of being the title and only understood having read the poem between. In short - I like it - a lot. Thank you.

sunshine | April 13, 2008 - 10:06

Thank you Animan - I have to say I like your style of critique, better than the subject of the critique itself!

animan | April 15, 2008 - 10:42

Well, I didn't mean that to happen. But I have had a thought, if I may. It's occurred to me recently that maybe one can focus too much on the poem as an artifact and not enough on its power to stimulate a response. For me, your poem does stimulate a strong response partly because it isn't heavily sculpted but works by brush stroke and nuance. Suggestion and resonance, which can potentially allow more readily a response than heavily crafted text that says it all, is in some ways the hardest to pull off, I feel. Just a thought.