We didn’t have an
‘Our song’
No tortured strings to twist our hearts.
We didn’t find a spinto soprano
To echo our love
In soubrette phrases.
There were no rock chick anthems
Thrumming drumming to
The beat of our passion.
We didn’t play the blues
To swell our sorrow
When we were apart.
And our vital reunions
Were not accompanied
By syncopated back beats.
We didn’t have an ‘our tune’
To dance to when
All the party guests had gone.
We didn’t have a song.
Comments
jennifer | June 10, 2008 - 11:11
Romance must be dead? This is very wistful, I love the line:
'No tortured strings to twist our hearts'
Clever word play.
Depends on the song. I've never been one for smushy love stuff. The last 'our song' I had with someone was 'We're in this together' by the Nine Inch Nails!
sunshine | June 10, 2008 - 16:19
Thanks Jennifer. So right - it does depend on the song and how many times has the pleasure in a song been ruined as a result of the significance fading as a relationship dies? Best not to have one.
Do you think the last line here is superfluous?
tcook | June 10, 2008 - 16:42
The last line really works - it's like the refrain in a song, and that's perfect.
sunshine | June 10, 2008 - 19:20
thank you Tony.
jennifer | June 10, 2008 - 19:25
I think Tony is right - the last line is the perfect refrain for the song-like quality of the poem!
Dynamaso | June 10, 2008 - 23:41
There is a fleeting yearning to this I really like. It would almost make a good set of lyrics for the right tune.
Very lovely indeed. And I agree with everyone about the last line too.
Caldwell | June 11, 2008 - 20:01
That would be funny - if this got put to music and became someone's 'Our song'. A full turn-around.
sunshine | June 12, 2008 - 16:17
Thanks Dynamaso and Caldwell. I like the irony in the suggestion of this being an 'our song'.
MistakenMagic | September 2, 2008 - 16:37
'We didn’t play the blues
To swell our sorrow
When we were apart.'
Just loved that line. Excellent work :)