Andrea,was that your name?

A friend decided that it would be nice to invite me around for coffee one morning then declare the news that,"he has slept with someone else,and there has been more than one,"
Phew,what a bolt from the blue!
My eyes filled with tears and the initial shock kicked me into reality clarifying that I had never been paranoid after all as he relished on reminding me,
"you're out of your mind,you're crazy,you stupid girl,I am not interested in other women".
So as he had stated,I believed I was crazy all those nights spent alone and those times when I called just an answering phone.
I remember the night he said,"I don't even fancy you anymore," and the pain that I bore begging him pathetically to love me again.
Andrea,she told me that was your name,Hungarian of origin,yet I doubt you felt the hunger that I felt everynight in that damp ridden den,waiting,debating with my ever growing paranoia,"is he holding someone else?why does he stay away so long?what on earth did I do wrong?
That's it,I'm too old now,I'm not pretty anymore,I don't orgasm during sex,every scenario passed through my head Andrea,my betrayer".
It wasn't your fault pretty maiden,
Are you pretty?are you younger?
I was jealous you see, always believed he wanted just me,but I was mistaken while you were being taken and I mistrusted my instinct,the feeling you get in your gut when he rolls over and denies you sex.
I hope you made him happy because I never could.
Andrea,such a pretty name,you have no blame.
He probably never told you each time as he would hold you about me,or did he?
I had been living in a dream it would seem until my friend exposed a nightmare.
I had always gone by the philosophy that,"what you don't know can never hurt you,"but regardless of this,it hurt anyway.
I had always wanted to believe that you, Andrea never existed but I knew you, she did.
Now there was a name as I held my head in shame.
It is said by many clairvoyants that a women's instinct rarely lets her down.
So now I frown because Andrea,I didn't believe in me so I couldn't believe in you.
I'm sorry,now I know you're true,so real,in the flesh,and I feared to question and guess.
Did you fall in love as I did?
Did you rack your brains everynight,"what did I do wrong?what didn't I do right?"
Andrea,did you hurt with each step you made?
Did you think that this toxic love could ever fade?
I would often like to meet you just to know
If his love for you he could show but alas,I know not where you are or where you went or of the anger that you vent.
I'm not a threat to you,I just wonder why I didn't trust in me.......................