Conflict.

The clock had just chimed midnight.
There were eleven Royals left.
That's a re-assuring thought.
I cringed at the prospect of dedicating my new day as a slave to my fifteen, liquorice flavoured, nicotine laced gums.
The psychological fear factor had kicked in even before attempting my unwelcoming mission.
I,the hardcore chain smoker glanced at the brimming ashtray beside me in disgust.
Displaying filthy butts on a bed of grey ashes.
A gruesome image flashed right through me as I wheezed.
I cursed to myself.
Negativity blessed my day.
As dawn kicked in, smoke rings were biliously billowing,
circulating to welcome its presence.
Like a morning smog hanging over me.
Wrapping its stale stench around me,
clinging to me like a leech.
Coughing and clearing of my grizzly throat to inhale yet more heartache.
Voices in my head wrestling with my conscience,
"What are you doing,you hypocrite?"
"I know,I know,I will quit tomorrow."
After the first one to welcome the day like a ritualistic incense offering to my lungs,
the consecutive are lit like catholic communion candles,
one after another.
"It's too late to start this, clean up campaign now,"I consoled.
"I have all the time in the world."
"Do you,?"a new voice piped up.
"OH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE,"I screeched,
"Since when as it been your business?"
Knowing only too well that it was their buisness indeed,
I tutted at my lack of integrity.
The voice remained at bay but the prescence harboured inside ready for an encore.
As I ventured down the street,past the park,
I felt guilt pangs tweaking me
as I recalled my intentions to replace nicotine with endorphin with a daily,morning sprint.
The bus arrived as a sea of eyes focused simultaneously on me.
"Christ," a voice yelled out,
"I despise the morning gloaters,where is their discretion?"
"Leave it,"I added,
"that's a trait of human nature."
I,with head to ground, hastily shuffled to find an empty seat.
"Oh god,"a voice menaced.
Not now,I thought,I can't abide your conflicts in public,it makes me so agitated with my paranoic tendencies.
"No empty seats,I will be thought of as the rancid creature."

"Don't be so bloody neurotic,
we're getting off soon".
Two more stops,one more stop.
My heart pounding furiously.
Hell,we're stuck in traffic."
The chattering in my head like a clairvoyants' convention was unbearably intense.
I vacated a stop before mine.
Feeling liberated,I lit up,lightened up and proceeded to work.
Stubbing my cigarette out viciously,
I took a deep breath,
Bundled through the door as I wished time away for my first coffee break.