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Can I do anything right?

Posted by threeleafshamrock on March 31, 2009 - 16:07
from the ABC set Humorous Ramblings

I changed the lock and lost the keys.
Bought steel toe cap boots and skinned my knees.
Smoked out wasps and burned the trees.
Deloused the dogs and got their fleas.
Caused an argument when I tried to appease.
Bought plants that caused a skin disease.
Put milk in my tea that ‘plopped’ like cheese.
Found the local China man was really Burmese.
Set my central heating to two hundred degrees,
Which buggered my Mother in law, Louise.
Gave up the fags and started to wheeze.
Picked some flowers; got attacked by bees.
Smiled at a girl who intended to tease,
Till her boyfriend gave my throat a squeeze.
Shit keeps happening; I just can’t please
I’m going to bed, too take my ease!
Good night!

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | March 31, 2009 - 17:41

Oh, dear Chris. Yes, I often have days like these. Calamity Jane I'm known as. I bought one of those plants once - ones of the variety of which you speak. This one was called 'Morning Glory', I think. Anyway, it had yellow cup like flowers and there was nothing, absolutely nothing 'glorious' about it. It was in a pot and I was weeding around its roots. Then ... it felt just like I had a thousand red ants crawling all over me. It was terrifying. When I realised what the cause of it was, the only thing I could do was go and shower. It was a really hot day, so as it turned out all was well that ended well:-)Oh ... and pampas grass is another bugger ... if you'll pardon the French.

Love your poem and I commiserate;-)

Tina xxx

threeleafshamrock | March 31, 2009 - 17:48

Crumbs Tina, you are as bad as me. Me and plants just don't get on. My Dad had green fingers; I swear he could have grown Bananas. Lol. Thanks, glad you enjoyed.

Chris XX

Dynamaso | April 1, 2009 - 03:29

Hahahaha... I guess we've all had days like this. Good one, mate.

jennifer | April 1, 2009 - 10:42

Haha yes this sort of stuff happens to me, too! Calamity Jen, eh?

J x

Richard L. Prov... | May 17, 2009 - 20:19

Well done, Chris. Sounds like you've been up and around the track, climbed trees and swam aligator infested swamps. Sometimes it is great writing about what we have been through, even though it may be "wild and wooly" writing. God bless. Richard LP