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The Fire

Posted by threeleafshamrock on March 23, 2010 - 13:24
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

The fire shifts and gasps a small plume of ash,
that falls, like a thousand minute parachutes,
to bespeckle the oft-scrubbed hearth.

Its heart, only moments earlier, radiant,
glowing, as the summers noon-day sun,
turned a dirty, winter grey.

We sit pretending not to notice its dying;
some feigning sleep, others, suddenly
enraptured by yesterdays headlines.

Having neither paper, nor high-backed chair,
in which to slouch, I rise from the stool
and grabbing the turf bucket, venture out.

One day, I shall be master of my own house.
I will sit in the corner, in the soft chair,
stoking my pipe; my feet, the nearest to the fire.

I will wear long trousers and proper boots.
My youngest son will bring in the turf and...
as the icy wind chills, curse my comfort.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Ewan | March 24, 2010 - 07:51

The cycle of life. We all turn into our parents, they say.

A lyrical poem, the only jarring thing for me is 'deposit' in line 3: I appreciate why you chose this word, but it doesn't quite sit right for me. Something that might be in keeping with the old-fashioned (that's an observation, not a criticism) feel of the poem might be 'besprinkle', you would have to lose the 'on' - which, come to think of it, might be the problem.

Anyway, I enjoyed this one.

threeleafshamrock | March 24, 2010 - 14:45

Thanks Ewan and I like 'besprinkle', lots but it seems to me to indicate something more akin to 'wetting'. Agree about deposit and went for 'bespeckle' instead; what do you reckon? ;)

Silver Spun Sand | March 24, 2010 - 15:11

I quite like 'bespeckle' Chris...It might just catch on;-)

Like the soft humour behind this one. It made me smile;-)

Hope things are OK with you.

Tina XX

Ewan | March 24, 2010 - 18:46

I think that's an excellent choice.

kheldar | March 24, 2010 - 23:32

i'm going to have to disagree with Tina on this one, to me it has a sad and, dare I say it, almost bitter air to it. Will agree with everyone on "bespeckle" though.

Great poem.

Kheldar :--)

MistakenMagic | March 25, 2010 - 10:23

'Its heart, only moments earlier, radiant,
glowing, as the summers noon-day sun,
turned a dirty, winter grey.'

- love these lines, Chris! And I agree with Ewan it does have a beautiful, lyrical quality! Well done ;)

Magic xxx

SteveM | March 25, 2010 - 14:54

Excellent imagery Chris of a time gone by... perhaps.

Steve

threeleafshamrock | March 26, 2010 - 18:13

Thanks Tina, I knew you'd get it ;) XXX

threeleafshamrock | March 26, 2010 - 18:16

Cheers Khelder, more tongue-in-cheek bitterness; more a 'humph' than a vendetta. Glad you liked ;)

threeleafshamrock | March 26, 2010 - 18:17

Thanks Magic, good to hear you; must catch up on everyone's work, talk to ya later ;) XXXX

threeleafshamrock | March 26, 2010 - 18:19

Thanks Steve...and yes, a time well gone unfortunately - some might say ;)