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A Giant Among Men

Posted by threeleafshamrock on January 22, 2009 - 20:13
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

He startled awake and gasped for air,
The sweat of the nightmare;
Glistening rivulets of fear on his pale brow.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.
It was cold but the strength was still there.
It gave me a feeling of hope,
Where there was none.
I smiled and said; “It’s OK Dad, I’m here!”
An imbecilic statement!
Those beautiful blue eyes stared at me
And, just for a second,
They did not know me.
Then the smile came struggling through;
It was like the welcoming smile of old,
The one that I knew so well;
The one that said, “I love you!”
And a piece of me died.

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Comments

shoebox | January 23, 2009 - 03:07

I think this is beautiful & very well done. I'd say Where there had been none. Also, It was like the welcoming smile of old. just 2 suggestions
Great ending and all else.

Nathan Bednarek | January 23, 2009 - 15:11

I don't think I should say anything about this poem- it speaks for itself. A beautiful piece of poetry. Well done.

Nathan.

threeleafshamrock | January 31, 2009 - 11:48

Thank you very much folks. I appreciate the comments and take on board yours shoebox. I think you are right about the welcoming smile and am changing this; as for the hope; there was none and I knew it, had done for months (see Prognosis Train). Thank you also Nathan for your continued interest and kind words. This was probably the hardest thing I have ever written and took me a long time to even attempt it. Much appreciated guys - this piece means a lot too me.
Chris X