With back fair bent from baggage piled,
she pines for him; her third born child.
One shoulder strap, her skin rubs raw
for sorrow wields a weighty claw.
The other bag where guilt didst stow
wouldst seem to her too fuller grow
and with each step on cobbled path
inflict a merciless type wrath.
She would turn and venture back
if there were made; this chosen track
but bridges burnt, her pain increased;
the sun will ne'er set in the east.
She stumbles forth and so she must
until with wanton rabid lust,
she claims her prize at journeys end;
that she may be with him again.
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | December 10, 2009 - 23:44
"...she claims her prize at journeys end;
that she may be with him again."
I hope so.
Tina X
threeleafshamrock | December 11, 2009 - 00:00
me too, Tina...Me too XX
shoe | December 11, 2009 - 11:00
Has an old fashioned feel to it,I like the way the feelings have a physical presence,:-)
threeleafshamrock | December 11, 2009 - 12:20
Thanks again Shoe, for reading and for the comments...I am old fashioned anyway he-he ;)
MistakenMagic | December 11, 2009 - 19:40
Love the steady rhythm in this one Chris and I can feel the sadness radiating from it. Beautiful!
Magic xxx
threeleafshamrock | December 11, 2009 - 22:22
Thanks Magic XXX ;)
Nathan Bednarek | December 12, 2009 - 23:03
Just beautiful. For such a short piece, this poem is full of emotion. Well done.
Nathan.
threeleafshamrock | December 13, 2009 - 09:17
Thanks Nathan, as always ;)
threeleafshamrock | December 13, 2009 - 09:53
Someone - whom as far as I can gather, wishes to remain anonymous - has e-mailed me and having read the piece, asked me to explain it further.
I have absolutely no problem in doing so and would also like to state, that anyone that I know on this site would feel the same as I; flattered! I am delighted that anyone would take the time and interest to even ask; so thank you for that.
While I feel that this particular piece is not exactly shrouded in ambiguity, I understand that some of the metaphors may be confusing.
I have split the piece into four stanzas, for ease. Here goes ;)
The general story is that a mother has lost her son - not necessarily to death. She carries this burden like baggage.
In the first stanza, I refer to the sorrow that weighs on her and continually chaffs.
The second deals with the guilt that, seems to grow with time. As we all know, guilt can be an insidious bedfellow. The 'cobbled road', just intensifies the difficulty of the journey, due to the guilt (as opposed to smooth).
The third stanza says; that she would love to have another chance; to go back, if there were any way it were possible but feels that she has burnt all her bridges and there is no way back. The sun not setting in the east (which seemed to cause some confusion) was a reference to the fact that you can't turn back time.
The fourth stanza, basically says that, she will go on but feels she will only be with her child again (in any sense) when life's journey is over - whether he is alive or not. She longs for this (lusts) and it is her primary objective.
Phew, hope that is cleared up. Please (anyone) feel free to ask, at any time - publicly or privately - if you would like an explanation of anything that I happen to scribble down; I am very flattered that you care enough to ask.
Chris ;)