Phobia I.P.

Lol loved this piece, pure quality humour. Iloved the stucture of this, very carefully written I can tell.

I liked the way the first three lines rhymed, then the last line of the verse rhymed with the last of the following verse. I might try that sometime in one of my songs.

Also I enjoyed the writing in brackets, as if you was talking to me and pausing what was really happening. I've told you in the past the brackets were a good idea. I think it was celticman who said he didn't perfer you to use them, i'm sure he will like them after reading this piece.

Funniest piece in a long time, good one chris.
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2 questions :)

1)Why is this not under humourous ramblings? Most of your funny piece are and this raised a smile :)

2)‘Cor, fuckin’ hell!
What does cor mean, never heard that before?

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Brilliant work mate,

I thought you would have said feeling a right tit, but dick is cool hahaha

night x

Perhaps the lesson here is 'don't try too hard' (with the ladies). It took me a while to learn. Love the way you sort of throw the last line away in each verse.

I also enjoyed the Oscar Wilde piece BTW but I didn't comment because I thought you covered it pretty well yourself.

Thanks Pin, glad you liked ;)

I thought that I had this in 'Humorous Ramblings', must have forgotten but have done it now.

'Cor' is a cockney expression; much used when I was growing up in East London. Usually the full statement would be ...'Cor blimey' In 'proper' English it would translate into 'God blind me' It was used too express surprise, as in;
'Cor blimey, but I never seen tits that size before!' = 'God blind me (if I'm telling a lie), but I have never seen tits that size before!'

That's as I understand it anyway; some other east-ender may come on and tell you different but I think that's about right.

Thanks for reading mate and hope that info helps; never actually been asked that before...it's a good question lol.

Thanks Chuck; blokes have it solved these days - the women do the asking lol.

Glad you liked the other piece; I had planned to do a longer piece and make it a kind of story in verse - or is that called prose ;) Still might if there is any interest because it is bloody hard work and I'm buggered if I am going to bother if no one is going to read the bloody thing ha-ha!

Thanks for the comments ;)

The alternate use of the fourth line rhyme works well ,the overall structure reminds me of a Limerick missing a line .

Threeleafshamrock Francis Thompson tried that and ended up writing The Hound Of Heaven but went mad in the process and died at a very young age .
The danger is once you start a project like a story in verse it could easily draw you in deeper to an abyss that could take your life..if you let it .

Kind Regards mcscraic

Straits, Chris, for Dire Straits, Strait of Gibraltar etc. Unless it's a pun on being 'straight' but not very good at it, of course. :-)

Thanks mcscraic; I love Limericks. When I was growing up they were very popular and we used to have fun making them up. Some were very good, some very bad, others very filthy but they all had a discipline (behind all the fun) that was educational and - I believe - help me, even today, with rhyme and rhythm and vocabulary. I have come across a few on ABC (Biggus has some good ones). I believe that they are greatly underestimated and even frowned upon by 'serious' poets, who seem to regard them as frivolous; I think it is a shame and quite frankly; their loss!

As to the 'story in verse' driving me mad; with 1 wife, 1 mother-in-law, 7 children, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 1 budgie (who can shit in your tea from 10 feet, while flying at the speed of light) - I am probably more than half way mad already. It could at worst, speed up the process or at best be the sanest thing going on in my life at the moment.

Thanks for taking the time ;)

Ewan; thanks as always. Changed 'straits'. Looked at ways, whereby I could pretend that it was a gender based pun but even I couldn't believe it LOL. Cheers! ;)

For 'mscraic'

It’s nice to meet someone who knows
the value of Limericks in prose.
As a breed we are dying
but let’s keep on trying
and maybe some more, will compose.

I’ll get on to T. Cook today;
I can’t guarantee he will play
but I will suggest
next weeks’ I.P. quest
be a Limerick and enter the fray

I’ve just had a relevant thought
This might not work out; though it ought
Storytellers I feel,
are more likely to squeal,
pull their hair out and be quite distraught

I think, story writers may claim
their being kept out of the frame
though their writing’s sublime
it’s not written in rhyme
so would make quite a hash of the game

Chris

Awww I wouldn't have been so cruel to you Chris ;) I'm guessing you didn't meet Mrs Threeleaf at a party?

Magic xxx

Lol, no Magic. Actually met in a wheelchair hostel, where I was doing some voluntary work...but we had a few parties later ;)

I am catching up on things I missed. I enjoyed this chris - it was funny!

Thanks inter ;)

Funny, but also touching. Good rhythm. Margot

Thanks Margot ;)

Wow, thanks for the cherry folks ;)

Good stuff Chris. I've missed your humourous ramblings on my extremely long travels with my Mother. But that's a book on all its own:)
sarah x

Thanks Sarah glad you liked. Your travels turned out some fine writing and I look forward to more. ;)