Smothered Love


from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

The tongues of fear encroached and licked our hearts,
the phlegm of doubt congesting all desire.
reducing ‘running smooth’; to fits and starts
and passions heat, unto a funeral pyre.

A once proud mountain, now a quarry hollowed;
the golden seam within, exposed to rust.
The pipers’ path on which we blindly followed;
beset with traps and so, devoid of trust!

When did this gouging monster raise its weapon?
How did defenses not send forth a dove,
or Fail to see the smoke on the horizon
that wafted on the breeze to choke our love?

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Jupiter | July 9, 2009 - 13:44

This is a very interesting piece Chris, I like it a lot. Not all is immediately apparent to me, I see a number of possibilities, but I'm growing to like that in your work ;-).

threeleafshamrock | July 9, 2009 - 13:47

Thanks J. for taking the time. Been a bit short on time myself but intend to catch up on everyone's work asap. ;)

SundaysChild | July 9, 2009 - 13:56

I really connected with this- and I think it is one of my favourite poems I have read so far on ABC.
Beautifully crafted and very poignant.
Well done.

MistakenMagic | July 9, 2009 - 16:28

Chris this is gorgeous! I agree completely with what SundaysChild has said. The imagery is masterful ;)

Magic xxx

sarah wilson | July 9, 2009 - 18:42

Excellent Chris:)

threeleafshamrock | July 10, 2009 - 13:10

Thanks SC for the very kind words. I threw this out in about 10 minutes, so it just goes to show ;) Glad you got so much out of it; I'm chuffed! XX

threeleafshamrock | July 10, 2009 - 13:12

Thanks Magic, sorry that I didn't get back sooner but my e-mail was banjaxed and I have been working on it to get it fixed. Thanks for the kind words - as usual ;)

threeleafshamrock | July 10, 2009 - 13:13

Thanks Sarah, much appreciated! XX

threeleafshamrock | July 10, 2009 - 13:16

Got about 160 e-mails to get through, due to breakdown...God, sometimes I hate technology ;)

Nathan Bednarek | July 21, 2009 - 21:44

Now this is what I call REAL poetry! A well deserved cherry!

Nathan.

threeleafshamrock | July 22, 2009 - 07:40

Thanks Nathan and welcome back ;)