Home

Suck and Swallow

Posted by threeleafshamrock on May 24, 2009 - 23:20
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

Your lips close over the tip,
I watch you sucking gently
Then gasp at the release.
It swirls as you lick your lips,
Leaking from the corners.
Then you close and swallow
Hold back your head and exhale.
Smiling, you lean up and kiss me
And I taste the deposit on your teeth;

I really wish you would give up those bloody cigarettes.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Dynamaso | May 24, 2009 - 23:45

Hahahahahaha... Very good, mate. I was wondering how this was going to end. A brilliant short.

I used to know this so well but can proudly say I haven't had a cigarette for well over 12 months now.

threeleafshamrock | May 25, 2009 - 00:03

Lol, thanks D. I'm trying to get off them AGAIN! Thanks for reading ;)

chuck | May 25, 2009 - 00:35

Absolutely disgusting....habit.

threeleafshamrock | May 25, 2009 - 00:57

I know chuck...and the smoking's not good either LOL

sarah wilson | May 25, 2009 - 17:17

I keep trying to give up! I loved this - nice twist!

threeleafshamrock | May 25, 2009 - 18:15

Lol, thanks Gristo, my wife was giving my (that's 'my' as opposed to 'me') head an ear-bashing for this very reason; should have married a smoker - unhealthy but peaceful LOL ;)

threeleafshamrock | May 25, 2009 - 18:17

I've been trying for ever it seems Sarah. I actually make the mistake of telling everyone that I am giving up and get twice the grief the next time I light up ;)

sarah wilson | May 26, 2009 - 12:52

I know the feeling. My third attempt starts next week - in silence!

threeleafshamrock | May 26, 2009 - 13:16

LOL Sarah, good luck; I wont say a word! ;)

mariaduffy | May 26, 2009 - 14:42

Hahaha! I love it. You really 'sucked' me in there! Love the twist. Maria

MistakenMagic | May 26, 2009 - 18:06

Hey Chris! Sorry I'm late in commenting - been away for the long weekend without internet access - realised I am an internet addict *shrugs of withdrawal symptoms*

Well done on the cherry - such a delicious twist!

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | May 26, 2009 - 18:56

I can't stand people that are basically like walking ash trays.

I really enjoyed this poem and its honesty. Good one mate, well done!

Nathan.

gristo | May 26, 2009 - 19:06

Haha, liked this a lot. Good lead in and the twist was well set up. thanks.

threeleafshamrock | May 26, 2009 - 19:14

Thanks Maria, glad you enjoyed the suck! ;)

threeleafshamrock | May 26, 2009 - 19:15

Cheers Internet Addict Magic and thanks to the cherry gods ;)

threeleafshamrock | May 26, 2009 - 19:16

Nathan, you sound like my wife lol. Thanks for reading mate. ;)

threeleafshamrock | May 26, 2009 - 19:18

Thanks Mark, clawed in a lot of readers with the title I think LOL. ;)

hilary west | May 26, 2009 - 19:40

Really enjoyed this one. The end was everything !

threeleafshamrock | May 27, 2009 - 07:52

Thanks Hilary, it just kind of 'came' to me LOL. ;)

scoot | May 27, 2009 - 12:19

let me add my name to the general acclaim. hot and cool.

DraxB | May 27, 2009 - 13:58

cheeky!

threeleafshamrock | May 27, 2009 - 22:56

Thanks scoot and Drax for reading ;)

Curse of 222 | May 28, 2009 - 23:57

my goodness, i appear to be very late to the party, but i must throw my hat in with all the others...i really enjoyed this poem. cheeky doesn't even begin to sum it up. awesome work. you made me laugh and that always makes for a better day!

jason

threeleafshamrock | May 29, 2009 - 07:46

Cheers Jason ;)