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Sundown

Posted by threeleafshamrock on February 25, 2009 - 18:09
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3518/3856154858_c11b5c0af5_m.jpg

Suspended animation!
Fired altocumulus!
Raging horizon!
The last flames
before the embers;
Even they are wondrous!
A furnace at the
edge of the world,
Red-clouding my vision.
If hell looks like this,
then it’s heavenly!
Unreachable,
Untouchable;
Always distant!
Nature preening
like the peacock;
displaying in a
rush of colour
it’s magnificent
radiant beauty.
Infinite power!
A star!

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Comments

jennifer | February 25, 2009 - 18:56

No comma needed in 'Even they, are wondrous',

and, being a bit hypocritical, you overuse and occasionally misuse the semi-colons.

However, some lovely imagery, especially 'Nature preening, / like the peacock' (and no comma needed - the line break does the pause for you that you are trying to achieve).

J x

threeleafshamrock | February 25, 2009 - 19:07

Thanks Jen, cleaned it up a bit. I am wicked for the semi-colons; it's like a love affair that I can't get out of LOL. Thanks for reading ;)