Pain falls from her eyes,
she is defeated.
I did not notice;
separate rooms,
private pillows...
Now with heaven calling
I am in hell;
the dream sought,
a nightmare!
The longing cannot
outweigh the guilt.
Satisfaction will not
overcome conscience;
I am defeated.
Pain falls from my eyes...
Comments
maisie | May 15, 2011 - 20:05
i like the first two stanza, feel a little lost with the third, and perhaps because of that, i think the next two might belong to another poem.
Nathan Bednarek | May 16, 2011 - 09:14
Hi Chris! It's been a long time. How are you? I hope you're OK.
The poem made me a little anxious to be honest... ;-)
It's beautiful and I think it's worth expanding on, but a big well done for what it is.
Nathan.
threeleafshamrock | May 16, 2011 - 11:18
I understand folks (and thanks for taking the time btw) Too explain;
The poem is about a man having marital problems; his marriage is 'not good', separate bedrooms, breakdown in communications, etc.
He has a second chance, finds a new 'opportunity', a chance to find love again, with someone else.
It is then (belatedly), that he starts looking at his marriage and more pointedly, his wife.
Emotions, that he hadn't expected or given much thought too, come to fore..... Guilt, regret, selfishness, love, etc.
He realizes, that he can't take that step; his conscience will not allow it, although the concept was 'heavenly' and he longs for the physical aspect of a new relationship.
His conscience defeats him and he is, of course, more than a little frustrated, in that, what seemed a simple act of progression has been stopped in its tracks.
That's basically it! Thanks for taking the time to read folks....I fully understand, how this would come across as ambiguous - at best.
Chris ;)
Nolan | May 29, 2011 - 00:26
This is heavy going I've seen it. Bottles break homes. “Now with heaven calling I am in hell”. Absolutely terrifying. Your poem is brilliant.
All the best. Nolan &
threeleafshamrock | July 20, 2011 - 10:05
Thanks Nolan for the kind words...
Chris ;)