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Widowed!

Posted by threeleafshamrock on June 19, 2009 - 19:18
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

Wakes, rolls from the bed;
down the hall, into the kitchen.
The kettle whistles.
The porridge spits steam
from exploding bubbles.
Looks at the radio but defers;
music would be like forgetting,
like disrespect, like coping.
Four place settings still;
three fragile hearts,
two, too young to be shattered,
one too old to repair.
No longer two against the world;
the world versus one,
the world winning, laughing.
A tear on the hob, dancing.

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Comments

russiandoll | June 19, 2009 - 20:28

Like this...

A bit of teacherly scrawling here from me;

Is 'verses' meant to be versus? I'd be tempted to try it without the exclamation marks too, I think that might bring the poignancy of the subject more to the fore, if that's what you're after.

sarah wilson | June 19, 2009 - 20:59

Gentle and pignant. Lovely poem Chris. sarah x

DraxB | June 19, 2009 - 21:53

poignant indeed

Jupiter | June 19, 2009 - 21:58

Hi Chris. Love the "tear on the hob, dancing!" line - can just picure it - and the exploding porridge bubbles too. Well observed and related. Nice one. ;-)

Ewan | June 20, 2009 - 07:03

Agree about the exclamation marks. A very good succession of images.

Ewan

threeleafshamrock | June 20, 2009 - 22:22

Thanks Russian, I'm a martyr for the exclamation marks; cleaned it up and think it looks more 'normal' ;) Thanks for reading and for the much appreciated advice.

threeleafshamrock | June 20, 2009 - 22:23

Thanks for the kind words Sarah ;)

threeleafshamrock | June 20, 2009 - 22:24

Hey J. glad you liked and could relate (don't you just hate making porridge? lol

threeleafshamrock | June 20, 2009 - 22:25

Thanks Ewan for reading and as already stated cleaned up the exclamation marks and think it looks better for it, thanks for the help. ;)