The Lost 'E'

Derek & Paula had popped round Steve and julie's for a good catch up but the conversation was a bit too boring for Derek and he found himself drawn into watching the Jeremy Kyle show instead.

All of a sudden his ears pricked up.
".... can't believe I've lost an 'e', of all the things to lose. It just won't be merry without an 'e'" said Julie
"Huh!" Said Derek
"Don't want to leave it lying around with kids n animals about." He added
"I know, that's what I told Steve but he's not bothered"
"Yer kiddin luv, lazy twat! Where'd you see it last. I'll find it in no time"
"Crikey, don't think he's lazy, but I emptied the boxes in the passage"

Derek hot footed it into the passageway. He got down on his hands and knees & began sniffing the floor just as Steve walked in with the shopping.
He paused for a moment to take in Derek sniffing the floor, "you alright Steve?" "Aye Derek, you?"
"Sure, just looking for that E your missus dropped in here!"
"It's not that small"
"How big is it then?"
"We'll, about this big!" Said Steve, holding his fingers about an inch and a half apart.
"Jeez, that's fucking huge mate, I bet it cost a mint, I can see why your missus said it wouldn't be merry without it"

Derek, continued searching, under the coat stand, behind the shoe rack, but nothing.
Derek, made it his mission to find an 'E' "just popping out for 5!" He shouted through.
"He's quite a sweet lad your Derek, really turned his ways around" said Julie to Paula
"Fucking oddball if you ask me" said Steve.
"At least he's been looking for the 'E', unlike you"
"Alright, alright, it can't be far, I'll look through the box in the conservatory"

A few minutes later "GOT I T" Steve shouted through, and he promptly wandered through with the missing 'E'.
"Why didn't you just do that in the first place?" Added Julie.
"Anyway, it's sorted now"

Shortly after wards Derek walks in "guess what Derek, Steve found it"
"Fucking hero, I've been round all me mates an no ones got any 'E's this week, tab's, wrap's, hash, brown, you name it, but no 'E''s and then the penny dropped, Julie was proudly holding an LED Christmas decoration, in particular, the letter 'E' which was absent from the word merry that was strung across the fire place.
"Oh!" Said Derek "never heard all the conversation before", after an awkward silence he added "at least I can confirm the carpet smells nice in the passage, do you shake 'n'vac?"