Depression waves over me
Like the deep blue sea
Encompassing me in safety
Till I slowly numb to the outside.
Trapped within my nightmares
The demons play within my mind
The horrors I wish to forget
The scenes I replay through my eyes
Stay as my only constant companion.
I anticipate tears
Hidden deep within
Again they dismay me
Struggling to find the light.
My sorrow so powerful
My only escape anger
And disappointment in the world.
I feel complete powerlessness
In a beautiful world
Where no hope is left
Frustration turns to fury
As madness strikes
My battered soul
Written 1997
Comments
mikepyro | May 16, 2011 - 01:33
its a fairly solid, if a little cliche, piece.
I've seen this many times before but I think you pull this off well enough with the sparse and structured flow and words that don't sink too far into melodrama.
V.C.Willow | May 16, 2011 - 17:32
Hi Mike
I wrote this when I was still in Senior school and its fairly typical of my early work, which lacked power and conviction. My later work tends to veer away from such utter gloom and raw emotion. But teenagers are so full of angst and I think it summons up pretty well the drama and desperation of being a secondary school teen.
Thanks for your comments
V.C.
maggyvaneijk | May 17, 2011 - 14:31
Maybe it's because I'm not that faraway from my teenage self at 21 but this piece spoke to me, most definitely because of the drama and desperation. In terms of imagery I really like the wave you begin with, perhaps this could be expanded more throughout because to me depression feels like wading through water. Also I like how there's a whirlwind of emotions in this piece as if the speaker is wrestling through each one of them.
V.C.Willow | May 17, 2011 - 20:38
Thanks Maggyvaneijk. I like the idea of depression being like wading through water (or tar), I think the feelings of being overcome and overwrought are universal and teenagers often feel helpless and powerless and this poem express' this. I am tempted to return to the drawing board with this one and try to rework the idea of the wave, expanding and using it throughout the poem as a metaphor for the emotions in this poem as you suggested. With it being such an old piece I'm also tempted to leave it as it is as a memorial to a time now passed. Maybe when I get time I could rework it and have the two versions online as the 'retro' and 'modern' versions. I really appreciated your comments, they were really kind and constructive.
warm regards
V.C
oldpesky | May 19, 2011 - 21:12
Hi V.C., always good to see a new face on the block. I didn't notice at first that this piece was written in last millenium. You must be getting on a bit in years now, old sport. I'll be dropping by now and then to keep up with your work. Best of luck on abctales.
V.C.Willow | May 20, 2011 - 17:57
Hi oldpesky
Nice to meet you. Hope you look in on my work and can leave some constructive criticisms of my work. As for me getting on, I am when you talk to a twenty something even though I'm only in my early thirties (ah the young 'nes today eh lol). I've seen a few of your posts on here, really enjoyed two verbs and a noun no wait it was two nouns and a verb -that'll be my age i guess :-)
V.C